Momentum.

Gosh, it's funny. Plotting new things to do at events in the upcoming year makes things more sparkly to look forward to! I was considering the conversation posted below and contemplating my SCA universe lately. Things Are Done Differently in Caid, more so than anywhere I've ever lived, and part of me has mourned that loss. It has made me more cynical, crass, short tempered, and less giving than anywhere else I've lived. Why? Mainly because I feel detached from the general SCA community. There are no regular social events to laugh with friends over a beer at that include all comers. This random horsehockey going on for the past few years has made every host and hostess in this Kingdom, and outside, have to examine their invite lists for possible explosives in the mix. Talk about gun shy... It's just difficult for me to be inspired while watching perfectly capable people make a mess of things. So, I've been creating quietly in the background, with occasional forays onto the battlefield to be with the guys and enjoy my chosen sport. Frankly, I just want to relax and breathe, and the only places I've done this in the past year while at an SCA event were Estrella and Pennsic. Sadness, plain and simple.

Sure, other kingdoms have their issues as well, and I grew up speaking a different language entirely in my cold, Eastern hometown. But then I may not have met the very many wonderful people in my life had I not moved to San Diego when I did. Such a huge treature in my life, I am quite lucky. But since I have a few people who have inspired me lately and the time to create something, I may attempt to surprise them with a little token and an explanation. My nutty standards has made it hard for me to find inspiration at times, so without sounding egotistical, I'd like to tell these people what they mean to me. We forget sometimes that we affect others in dramatic ways, and I do feel it's important to reward the good. Sure, I'm a nobody, trundling along in my nobody SCA hobby. But I remember that before I left the East, someone told me how much it meant to them that I took time to help them along. It was touching, and sometimes those moments are worth the most.

So off I go, plotting in my little fashion, to attempt to bring something nice to the folks who've given me some hope in the game. It's a bit scarce at the moment, but somehow I've held onto it. Let's see if I can make it grow again.

A Veritable SCA Gem!

http://www.chronique.com/Library/Chivalry/dialog.htm

Long, much thought involved, yet sums up many good things about the SCA.

Take some time out for it.

Year End...

Yeah, it's year end. And the joy of being both AP and HR means that I have about 4 million things to report on at year end. Vacation time, accruals for expenses, random stuff that just HAS to get done by the end of the year. I even took a picture of my desk this morning, just so I could remember what it should look like before I pulled out all the crap for the day. My head was about to explode after running around for 5 hours with a stack of paper in my hands, so I went out to get sushi and pick up the parking passes.

Wooooosh! Apparently the weather has changed again in San Diego - it's a blustery day! So I get to look like Cousin It while procuring lunch for myself. Just fabulous.. But I safely got food, yet no parking passes, and headed back to the office for the next 4 hour run. Mr. Approval is in the office today, so I need to get all the invoices, contracts, and HR crap in front of his nose or else it won't get done at all.

I am sooo looking forward to another long weekend this weekend, and next week is just a wonderful time. The 4th is a good day, yes it is....

Winter-ish?

Well, I survived another Christmas with the family. Every year since I moved out here, I have to do the mental shift that is required to feel like it is Christmas. San Diego is not a winter wonderland by any stretch of the imagination, and while I adore all the sunshine, it makes for a lack when I want to see snow and make snow angels, then pile back inside for toasty warm hot cocoa around the fire. Heat exhaustion would set in if I tried that around here, not to mention the muddy angels and grass stains! And, alas, no fireplace in my little hobbit hole!

So each year I rejoice in the slightest chill in the evening air, enjoy the little tracings of frost when they venture out, and long for a close by spot to visit the snow. Julien sometimes has snow, but usually by the time they get the snow, close the roads, open the roads, and I get my butt up the mountain, the snow is gone. I think it would be a myth, except occasionally I see the little bits leftover melting quietly in the shade. *sigh* Who am I fooling - I don't own more than one pair of boots anymore! Most of my shoes are impractical little sandal things :-) Ugh, SoCal, you have altered me! I can't buy a pair of shoes anymore unless my little toes can peek out!

So while I'm forgetting the slush, the frozen door locks, the drips that get down the back of your neck, the crunch of a snowball to the face, frozen hair, salt on everything, cold feet, shoveling the driveway, I do honestly miss actual snow. But mostly I miss snow days and the other good stuff! Like snuggling inside... Mmm, yeah...

A moment of silence folks

The Godfather of Soul has passed on:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2750402&CMP=OTC-RSSFeeds0312

I GOT A 4.0 IN EVIDENCE!

YAAAAAAHOOOOOOOO!

Go ME!!!!!!!!!

I just checked the site one last time - BIG FAT 4.0 in EVIDENCE!!!!!!!!

I'M THE BEST, OH YEAH!

AND it might be the highest grade in the class.....

Oh hooray, the holidays...

Well, last half day at work, then the weekend frenzy of the holiday thing, then back to work next week. I'm currently shoveling through just enough of the paper on my desk to get some of the important things done, yet leave something for next week's amusement when no one is here but basically me and a few die hard folks with die hard clients who just HAVE to close their deals by the end of the year.

Got the grade anticipation down to a dull roar and only checking the site 17 times per day for my last grade. Got the rest of my anticipation down to a tingly happiness and a comfort level in eating a donut. Still trying to convince myself that I should go to the gym before heading home today. The gym is still winning, mainly because I was huffing and puffing on the treadmill on Tuesday when I went. It would be a good thing, since I know I won't be back until next Tuesday at the earliest. A week without gym is not a good thing. Yoga is nice, but doesn't really count.

Then off to my sister's for holiday fun and a complete lack of privacy for 3 days. I'm sleeping on the couch, thanks to a currently singleton state and a distinct lack of guest rooms at my sis's. In theory, I could sleep in the office curled around the fax/printer/dishwasher thingie, but that would require effort in setting up something to sleep on around the piles of presents and random stuff stacked in there. I'm feeling like a guerilla Xmas this year - get in, get out, take only what you can carry.... But I'm looking forward to our traditional Polish Xmas eve dinner, both me cooking it and me eating it. Yummy, extra heavy peasant food! And it's always fun to watch my nephew do anything. I have a great picture of him trying to help my dad sweep. My dad would make a pile, and my nephew would scatter it everywhere again. It was hilarious!

But I've got some time tonight and tomorrow to kick out a few more projects, get my crap packed up, clean out some of the boxes and stuff in my kitchen, and go to the party tonight. I got a few things done last night, and pulled out a few things to work on at my sister's. I always seem to put off the hand finishing work as long as humanly possible, so I'm packing all of it up to plunk myself on the couch and actually sit and watch TV this weekend. Yeah, write it on your calendar, I know I am!

Hmm, should I feel bad for highly limiting my Xmas giving this year? I'm really not feeling that terrible about it. I got gifts for just those physically and emotionally really close to me. Really close. I'm giving out much less this year than I normally do, and just concentrating on seeing people and calling them to say hello. I'm slowly trying to step back from the Christian holidays - I'm not too keen on celebrating most of them. But Christmas is hard, partially because of the huge onslaught of forced hiliday cheer EVERYWHERE! But it's a family tradition, so I will always celebrate it on some level. So, instead I'm trying to give smaller gifts, give more happy thoughts, and make things for others instead of giving into the mall hunt for largesse. I've never been one for office gifts, nor even cards. Ever since the Politically Correct thing came along, it's just not right to me. I don't have a problem wishing someone a Merry Christmas or Happy Hanakah even though it's not my holiday. And they can wish me the same and it's about being nice, not incorrect. Eh. People stink sometimes. Stop trying so hard to be right and try to be nice instead. Big difference.

Hmm, can you tell I'm not that busy today and I'm just treading water until I can dash over to the gym?

Merry Christmas folks. Happy Hanakah, too. Or whatever you celebrate, may it be wonderful!

Just ridiculous...

All I want for Christmas is a 2.0 or higher in Evidence.

Go me with the high standards, eh? Sheesh...

Oh lordy...

So I got two of my grades and they don't suck. They're not great, but they're out of the "crap I might get kicked out of school" range. And I'm still waiting on the last grade which should be the best grade overall. Am I sad that they're not A's? No, not at all. I'm at the point that I'm just happy to get the hell out of school. I'm struggling with the upper level classes because they somewhat switch the rules on you. Now that you've mastered the basics of the game, we'll just make it more difficult to figure out overall. This professor prefers that style, that professor prefers that style. Who the hell knows what that professor wants. In theory, I should be doing better as a 3L. In theory, I should be working my ass off and busting out fantastic grades. In reality, my care-o-meter is running on empty. I'm just tired.

But yay, no failing grades. Yeah, I worry about that. But none so far.

And breathe....

Well, I snarled at the universe via one of my other blogs yesterday afternoon, and lo and behold, it responded! Within a few hours a few things got resolved, taking some of the load off of my heart for all this waiting. Granted, my job situation hasn't resolved, but I got a tip on a possible great job from my neighbor. And granted, I just got a voicemail from the recruiter chasing me down a few weeks ago saying they're still interested, but the holidays ate the hiring manager. And granted, I still have to wait another two weeks to see someone. But knowing that makes me feel vastly better! No grades yet, I'm practically gnawing on my desk in anticipation. If I tanked, this could be very bad. But I think I did average, so hopefully my gut is correct.

So yeah, things are good. Very very good. I really do need that 2 weeks to tackle some of the sewing strewn about my apartment like bad decor. I have mountains of commissions for Estrella (although if I get going, I'll be done with all of them in the next 2 weeks). Life is lovely. Could be a bit better, but progress is better than sitting and stewing...Now it's time to kick my 12th night plans into gear, get crap scheduled and booked, and get cranking on the sexy new garb for me for once!

And yes, I think your charm might hold, Mister. I do believe it just might.

The holidays ate my head...

Well, I'm female. Single, but female. Thusly, there is an expectation that I will hunt and gather and provide much amusement this holiday season. So last night, after a rousing gathering of other such females and discussing every issue under the sun, two of us were notified of great treasure at the land of Wal-Mart.... Treasure at Wal Mart, you question? Why yes, as there was much sexiness in the $2 fabric bin! Woohoo! My companion and I oooed and ahhhed and attacked the pile in a seamstress frenzy, coming up with fabric that made my eyes sparkle and more that clung to my companion's shape in a most fetching manner. We wrestled our treasures through the store, only stopping for the sexy lingerie section to stock up on more goodies for the upcoming festivities. We compared our purchases and giggled. Then giggled harder as we remembered rooming together for past events and recounted our different styles.

See, I'm relatively low maintenance, and my companion is the epitome in high art, high maintenance woman. Not in a bad way, but our tastes in men run similarly different. She likes a man who notices that she took a smidgeon off her hair, changed her lipstick and nail color just a bit, and that her sexy items all match. I prefer a man who isn't even going to notice that I'm wearing pink today instead of mauve yesterday. Sure, he'll mention that I look great, but I'm a bit weirded out if he has better fashion sense than I do. It's one thing to like one thing over another. It's another to have an entire line of skin and hair care products to rival a good salon in his bathroom. I don't even know what's in fashion - I just know what looks good on me from what's in the store right now. So for me, watching her get ready at past events was a rather entertaining contrast. I showered, put styling stuff in my hair, did a bit of makeup, blew my hair out and arranged it nicely, slipped into my garb, tossed on the jewelry, and voila! Maybe 30 minutes tops, from dripping wet to sparkly. My dear dear friend on the other hand, went through a PROCESS. It was fascinating! Everything was just so, she has items I'd never even seen or heard of. I was tempted to get a snack and come back to watch, maybe sell tickets. Yet again, Sammy on safari, watching the preening habits of the natives :-)

But yeah, she did rub off on me a bit last night. I got new sexy underthings. And fabric to put more sexy clothes over it. But whew! So nice to see the difference in folks and be able to appreciate them. And I'm glad to hear there seems to be someone for everyone out there! Bringing my safari hat from now on, seems I'm needing it more and more. Krikey!

How not to give advice....

Hmm, I got faced with an issue that anyone who knows me will understand what a problem it is. A former friend was asking around for advice in a situation I'm very knowledgable and skilled about - lots of personal experience. However, as much as I will drop the universe, rearrange the tides, and scramble the stealth bombers for my friends, I can't consider this person a friend. Past experience has shown me that I will get burned, and it's generally not worth it. So I'm stuffing a sock in it, whistling dixie and walking away from the situation with a "oh gee, can't help you there."

Ugh, I'm terrible at doing this. I *like* helping folks out, it's another good reason for me to become a big bad lawyer. Advice is just one of those things that if I have a good tip, I pass it on. But, perhaps I'm maturing and mellowing. Sure, I'll help if asked. But given the past situations, I'm just not sticking my neck out there for just anyone anymore. It's certainly a more realistic approach. And I'm much more comfortable with only giving advice to folks I know. I hear a lot of stupid stories about people doing ridiculous things based on what they thought they heard.

But it's sad in a way that now I do want to limit my advice. Do I trust people? Some of them, but I'm not even interested in knowing everyone. I certainly have hit my quota of saving lost puppies in my lifetime. I'm kinda done with project people. If you haven't figured out by the time you're 30, you might want to buy a clue and dig into that American dream thing. Hard work does pay off, so does getting a career of sorts, not spending more than you earn, and finding someone non-psycho to be with. I'm big on all of those. But note that there is no saving the world on the list.

So yeah, despite my yammerings about being a super hero, I'd really just perfer to be myself. Although looking good in spandex will always be a value of mine :-) I'm not a hero, but I play one in the courtroom....

blog via email

Ok, kinda cool. In theory I can email my blogs to my blog. Kind of like long distance finger painting.

 

Let's see if this works..

--


No woman in my time will be Prime Minister… ~Margaret Thatcher, The Sunday Telegraph, 1969



http://sambalaya.blogspot.com/

And back to my usual substance-less drivel...

I got my nails done for the first time in something like 6 months today. It was a level of fabulous! And I got to figure out the details on the ice rink at Horton plaza. Ice is for skating, and I miss it terrible! Despite being really sucky at it....I needed the break from thinking as a small woman painted pretty colors on my hands nad feet. It was lovely...

Although I'm railing against the last of my exams like anyone in their third year of law school would, I'm really doing ok. My focus hasn't ever really been on being the top of the class. Well, top 1/3, but not the uber law geek of all. I've got a life, thanks. I really pinch myself in the mornings and wonder how I got here sometimes. Then I remember the work, the crappy strange jobs, my firends and exes who have helped me immensely. And I'm still in awe that my mother and I haven't had an argument in months. It's a new record for us, kinda strange. I might be maturing. Eek! And I'm blessed with an excellent family of overachievers who are actually nice folks too. Huh, lookie there...

My brains are tapioca, btw. I have one exam tomorrow and the last of my take home paper to finish up. The paper isn't going to be great. I'm going to try, but thus far it's not pretty. I just don't feel like I got a good overview on the whole land use planning process in CA. Too much confusion from bringing in illustritive examples from other states. Blah. But I got a brilliant idea last night, so I'll be spending some time tonight and tomorrow digging into that. It'll be great.

Family Medical Leave Act

This is that program that lets you leave work and take an unpaid leave to do something family and health related: have a baby, care for a sick relative, get therapy for that which ails you. While in some ways it's the bane of my existance, I'd want my job back if I needed to do something like this.

The Dept of Labor is taking comments on people with experience with this benefit. Had a baby lately? I't probably relevant to you. Here's more info:

http://www.nationalpartnership.org/Default.aspx?tabid=140

http://www.halfchangedworld.com/2006/12/fmla_input_need.html

I make no guarantees as to how biased or factual it is, but they do give the links for making comments.

This is your government asking you to talk to them! Go do the American thing if you have something to say! This is direct participation, folks, and it affects many of us, probably all of us at one point or another. I really don't care what your view is, just go express it :-)

Good lord...

There are some days where you just look at everything that happened and what you're expected to get done and wonder when jobs got so ridiculous.

I got abused by a vendor today. Badly. And I'm still cranky about it, especially since they seem to think they can abuse us for not paying invoices that they never sent to us. Might be a good time to work on that offhand wrap when I get home. Definitely a bit of pell therapy tonight, otherwise I won't get a damn thing done.

I hate being worked into a tizzy by random people. Ugh, when did it become ok to just call someone and yell at them? And in a business capacity! I simply cannot believe the sheer gall of it. Especially since I returned her call promptly to get the info she couldn't bother to leave me to look things up. What did I get for doing my job promptly? A big whonking pile of shit. Thanks, I'll go shovel out now.

So I've been trying to shake this for a few hours, but I think it's a bigger issue. Why the hell should I care about dealing with any of it when my job is supposedly going away, yet frankly no one's bothered to set a date or anything yet? And I'm suppposed to care? Ugh, I'm a morale issue. Oh well, my coworkers are cool, and the vendor's supervisor got the most tactful objection I could muster. And tomorrow I'm going shopping for a new vendor.

Those wonderful movies...

LOTR was on last night - The Two Towers. It's probably my favorite of the series. Why? Because it's the one where you're not sure if good will win out. It's (to me) the one that challenges the characters the most to simply set aside their disbelief and rely on hope. Sure, you could argue that The Return of the King is more so, but I just adore the smaller scope of the Battle at Helm's Deep more. It's more personal. More desperate. There's no massive city/fortress, just this relatively smaller, ancient bastion set into the rocks of the mountain. I love the rain of the battle, the appearance of the elves at the door, the close up and personal shots of the fighting, and the appearance of Gandalf at the end. This one isn't won by spirits - it's won by people.

And oh, the images! And the feelings they stir! I still adore the interactions between Arwen and Aragorn the most in this one. The dreaming and waking. Their brief moments together. His fall into the river and his return to Helm's Deep. Great stuff - gets me every time.

And this is the only movie where they really interact with the people of Middle Earth. The trip to Helm's Deep is neat - ambush by wargs and all!

So yeah, it's my favorite. And I'll change my mind again tomorrow. I love images that stir up my creativity and inspire me to bring a bit more of that magic to my universe. And hope. Hope is good.

Metabolism....

I did it. I stopped the runaway metabolism dead in its tracks. Hopefully now I'll stop the weight loss marathon, too.

Recipe: 1 fried shrimp po-boy + fries with creole dipping sauce (aka. spicy mayo)

Arrange food attractively in the little black box, place dipping sauce at a jaunty angle. Dive in with great abandon while examining the latest museum catalog at desk. Wait for that sinking feeling as your gall bladder attempts to compensate for the worst nutrition you've had in 2 weeks. Breathe. Listen to the overdrive unhitch itself and the burning sensation of overachieving metabolism finally subside. Feel arteries harden and choke on the amazing SoCal meets Louisiana meal.

Ahhhh.... I need a nap. Maybe I'll finally dream again. Ahh, to sleep perchance to dream. Hopefully not at my desk.

Evidence exam - the effects

Yup, I'm an Irish Setter on crack today. I've gotten a bunch of stuff done, but I'm not exactly herding the cats as efficiently as usual. Some of it is just mental exhaustion from the exam and prep time the last few days. Some is anticipation, both good and otherwise. Some is just dread for the 2 more upcoming mountains to climb before this semester is officially over. *sigh*

It is a very good thing I carpooled today. I'm a bit concerned that I may not have enough brains to work the treadmill at the gym. Nice.

I dream of no homework, going straight home after work, having time to read the 2 ft. stack of magazines next to my bed, planning trips without having to do extra homework for 2 weeks in advance. Yes, I dream. When my brains are working, that is. Maybe I'll have a nice, crappy, comfort food lunch. Maybe it's a combo of brain usage and the simple fact that I'm up to 7 lbs lost in a 10 day period. Mmmmm, comfort food. And the place on the corner has a shrimp po-boy that's extra happy...

Friday morning meditation

C and I drove into work this morning, and we got to talking as usual. We meandered through our usual range of issues: conflicts between friends, goals for the warband, helping out newbies. We’re in agreement that having projects to work on and new people to train makes our group better focused on positive things. I brought up some of the issues I’ve had with this area, especially in the SCA. My difficulties have come from some interesting situations that I’ve never dealt with or noticed before. Granted, this is the first kingdom I’ve ever been single in for any length of time. So I’m not surprised that I get the “oh, she’s pretty, therefore she must be a snob, bitch, etc.” And I simply can't believe the crap that happens in belly dancing around here. No wonder I'm going back to home haflas! So I don’t feel quite like I’m home here. I have some very cherished and good friends, and I’m very glad I moved here. SoCal has taught me a lot of good things. But it’s still not home.

There’s a line in one of Neil Peart’s books about finding a place that just feels like home. You know it when you find it. Well, I haven’t found it yet. I feel at home when I’m sewing or working my magic with my people at work to get things running smoothly. I feel at home when I’m on the line with the guys at the start of a battle when we’re all sparky. But these are fleeting, and I have yet to find that spot or situation that gives me that comforting homey feeling just being in it. I’ve never found or built a home. Mel is laughing at me right now and muttering “gypsy girl” under her breath at me. And she’s right. I’m big on going out and finding what I want or need. And I’m not afraid to pick up and move to do it! But my feet are rooted to the spot for the moment. I have no choice but to stick things for another year, despite my disappointment in some aspects of the area. So I’ll have to deal with not going with my normal pack up and leave when you can’t fix things solution. Learn some patience and stick out the last of my school.

And maybe that’s the thing I have to learn. Sometimes you just have to stick it out. Take it head on, despite the fact that things look pretty impossible. I’ve got a lot of good things I can work on here instead of focusing on the things I’m not happy with. *sigh* As for what I’m looking for, well, I’ll know it and him when I see him. :-)

Who eats this stuff?

Eggplant Lentil Stew with Pomegranate Molasses Recipe? Really?

http://www.elise.com/recipes/archives/004194eggplant_lentil_stew_with_pomegranate_molasses.php

I just don't get it.

Care and Feeding

So, I have a wonderful friend who is generally known to be a lesbian. None of that switching back and forth stuff. She was all about girls, until recently. She emailed me a bit ago, letting me know she’s dating a man! And she’s thrilled, but a bit clueless as to what to do with him. Things are working out generally well, yet the rules seem to be different for men v. women. So, in the interests of education and congenial relations between opposite sex couples, I am compiling my personal observations on those wonderful Man creatures! So imagine my best Steve Irwin impression, yet in the genteel manner of the 18th century explorers, and we shall begin:

1. She writes, “He doesn’t call often, is he still interested?” Oh yes, my dear, you’ve run into the perennial issue women and men have in communication. Women generally like constant communication, telling every thought and word, and use the phone as if it prolonged life itself. We’d rather talk about it than let it slide and see how things go. However, on my safari through love land, I have noticed a general tendency to use a lot less verbal communication by men. They just tend not to. There are, of course, exceptions! I personally tend to be bad about the phone. If I say I’ll call, I will, but I’m just too busy to be chained to the phone on a constant basis. My advice? Relax, call a girlfriend. And pay attention. If he sounds like he’s sick of talking to you on the phone, you’re probably coming on a bit too strong. Let him call you for once. Plan an outing with friends. Have a cocktail and watch your favorite movie. Having a life is sexy, and one who is constantly on the phone, checking on their significant other, probably doesn’t have a rich social life. Comprenez vous?

2. She writes, “Are we dating? It seems rather casual at times.” Well, my dear, is he consistently scheduling time with you? Is he seeing anyone else romantically as much as you? Do his friends know he’s spending time with someone new? Does he flat out light up when he sees you? (more on body language in a bit) If you can answer yes to these, then chances are you’re at least “seeing each other”. And without getting into the difficulties of labels (ugh!), these are general signs that things are progressing nicely. Your female gut reaction is usually pretty accurate, so turn it on! Listen to what it says! If he just doesn’t seem to be into you, yet calls you in the late evenings because he wants to “hang out”, you might be a booty call. Up to you if you’re ok with that, but let’s not pretend he’s the love of your life if you’re never seen in public fully clothed together.

3. She writes, “He doesn’t react the same – I can’t read his body language.” Well, no dear, not if you’re used to women! Men are just as readable as women, it’s just a different form of subtle. There are different attraction rules for how men and women act. Women flip their hair, primp, cross their legs, etc when they’re feeling attractive. Men tend to lean in, touch your arm, do little things for you (get you a drink, check on you), and just simply plunk themselves next to you for the evening. Physical touch is the most defining one I’ve noticed – if he likes to be touching you, it’s an excellent sign. And some things are universal – standing with arms crossed, leaning back away from you, not meeting your eye – all signs of negativity towards you – something is wrong, even if it’s not about you! And eye contact, leaning in towards you, and attention on you means good things usually. Make mental notes on what he’s doing physically and how he says he feels. Over time, you’ll see patterns.

4. She writes, “I want to see him this weekend, but he’s not getting the hint.” Well, silly, where’s your baseball bat? If you like the guy, tell him! If you want to spend time with him, tell him! It’s not a game or a mystery – he doesn’t get what’s behind door number one if he guesses what your silly mind is thinking. Just tell him. In short sentences that are clear and concise. If he can see you and is interested in spending time with you, he will find time. If he doesn’t want to or doesn’t have time, he won’t. And it may not be about you – Aunt Tilly the Horrendous may be visiting, and he doesn’t want to inflict her upon you. But if you ask clearly, you have a better chance of finding out the details. Your Ouiji board is not a good substitute.

5. She writes, “He doesn’t cuddle…” Darling, do you want a teddy bear or a man? One is vastly cheaper, one is vastly more fun! Men are about different kinds of physical contact, and just like women, vary widely on how much is satisfying. Right after a fantastic moment in bed, he may need a few minutes to get his mission control back online. Houston, we have a power outage after that last liftoff! It’s just a mental restart he needs to take care of, and he may fall asleep. It happens. Wrap yourself around his arm and count Prada shoes until you drift off yourself. And be happy.

6. She writes, “He won’t tell me what he told his friends about me.” Oh princess, that’s usually a good sign. A. he’s talking about you. TO HIS FRIENDS. Rejoice quietly in your adoration. B. It usually means that he actually likes you and can’t keep the news in. But if you’ve been psycho and there have been collective Bad Moments lately, he may be looking for advice on how to extricate himself. Pay attention. If things are going well, it’s probably that he likes you. But don’t make him dish. They’re his feelings, and guy language may not sound flattering to you, yet is the height of fabulous to his friends. Let it go and let them discuss amongst themselves. Look at his actions, not the words involved. That’s his world, with its own secret language and such. Let him have it, as your universe and girl talk is just as baffling to him. Over time you’ll learn how to convey those sorts of things, but for now, let it go…

7. She writes, ”He’s wonderful, but how do I tell him?” Oh honey, this one applies across the board as to compliments and communication in general. Too much is too much. You know why emeralds are valuable? They’re rare. Not horribly so, but they’re not paving my street. A constant stream of everything fabulous makes it mundane. Pick your compliment, wait for when he’s paying attention, turn your face to his, look him in the eye and deliver it with all your heart. Done right, it’s just a better moment than a constant patter of everything fantastic about him. Besides, we all know someone who lays it on thick, yet, they’ve just got to be full of it sometimes, right? But don’t hold back entirely either. If you don’t seem to care about anything he does, he’ll stop doing nice things. You would too if you never felt appreciated, right? So choose things to be special and then make them special. Takes a bit more brain power, but then you can savor each one like Godiva melting in your mouth. Encourage the best, but make it clear.

And yes – Pay Attention! This goes for all of you. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and has a proclivity for water, chances are you’re safe calling it a duck. If it’s confusing, feels wrong, isn’t satisfying, just isn’t smoothly running along, chances are it isn’t. There’s a disconnect. Either talk about it and figure things out or get out. There’s too much pain caused in the world by wishy washy. I hate wishy washy! Either I’m the best thing since sliced bread in your world and you’re my knight in shining armor who I can’t wait to see, or we’re friends or less. Period. There is no honor in jerking yourself or others around. And you could be missing out on someone really fantastic! What are you waiting for! Go get them, hug them, squeeze them and name them George!

And play nicely. Politeness is fading away these days, and you never know if that guy you just sneered at was an excellent match for you. Now he’ll probably never talk to you, awwww. And guys, whistling at a woman implies dog-ness to her. I’m just saying.

And ladies, remember that you may not date this man forever and ever. Do you want him to be known as the plastic spoon and K-Y guy? No? Then don’t divulge every little detail to the girls over cocktails. I like mystery and suspense in my world. My best friend is the only one who hears those deep dark things, and even she doesn’t need to hear most of the really personal stuff. And couples just don’t interact the same across the board. Something he does with one chick may not be the same way he reacts to you! And she could be lying. Let’s be serious. Regardless, you look like the less than lady-like type when you gossip, ok? Dish some, just not all. And definitely not to the gossip mongers of the world.

So, I’m hoping this makes the world a bit easier. I’m not perfect in the slightest, I just try to be smart about things, patient, and let everyone be their own person. Hooray! Now, go try it out. Let me know if I need to add any further explorations. So much to discuss, yet it can be overwhelming! Good luck, and may the force be with you!

4 weeks!

Crappity crap crap - it's 4 weeks until Xmas! My next 3 weekends are solidly booked with friends and family, and I have about 47 presents to make. EEK! I have to remind myself to finish exams first, but once those are over I need to sew like a fiend. I have a vest, a tree skirt, a pillow, an intricately appliqued Greek thing, and who knows what else to pull out of my shrinking butt :-)

So looks like I'll be sewing all night (between emails and phone calls) and working at the cat herding thing all day that last week or so before Xmas. Thank god I went shopping in July for random nice things for the girls. I saved my own butt. Where's my cape!

So yeah, nice realization there, and I can't even go do anything about it until I can recite the Huddleston standard, objections, and similar motive test by heart, wheee! And then I'll do the same for Admin law while pulling a Land Use exam in all its glory out of my aching little brain.

And why is it that my brother is nearly impossible to shop for. He keeps ignoring my emails about what to get him and I'll be buying him what's left from his wedding registry, just for the heck of it. I know his lovely wife won't be sad :-)

It's official...

www.rush.com

I hate being a Rush fan on the west coast. I remembered that I haven't been to the Rush site in a few months, and roamed over to see what I'm missing. Oh the horrors! I'm missing the VH1 classic showing of the Rush 30 concert tonight and tomorrow night for the reshowing!

Granted, I can go buy the DVD set and all, but I didn't even know about it! I don't hear them on the radio out here, I don't hear about their rockline interviews, nothing. I need a dose of Canadian, eh? And I feel a specific bond with these guys as the band is almost exactly as old as I am. So I celebrated my 30th with their 30th, and life was good!

Thanks goodness for the internet or I'd be bereft! Time to go load up the MP3 player with my Rush playlist again and go overdose :-)

Crap, I almost forgot!

My loan request on Prosper.com is completely funded! I'm going to China! And I can afford to go to China! Woohoo!

Back on track

Back at my desk today, nothing too terrible happened in a day here. Big pile of paper to push around to various people, but nothing I can't handle.

Figured out a few amusing things as I woke up and trundled to work this morning. Stepped on the scale for the first time in a week and was more amused. I must be happy, I dropped 5 lbs. Usually if things are going well and I'm excited, all the nervous energy makes me svelte. If I'm unsure about stuff or things aren't going well, I tend to stay a bit rounded, almost like I need padding against the universe. Well, apparently I don't need it at the moment, as I just dropped the weight like a hot rock. Kinda neat actually, since I'm usually not too svelte during exam time. Right after, but not during...

Eh, coffee is a wonderful thing. It's the only way I function before noon sometimes. I really enjoy being paid for my people skills and managing workloads. I always wanted to get paid to talk and solve problems, and now I'm there.

Off to shovel through the piles to prioritize. Cheerio!

Mmmm, distraction.

Well, I finished all of my flash cards and have a working knowledge of Evidence. Now I just have to memorize a 2" stack of the buggers in 2 days. Eh, it'll all work out in the end.

I think I need a walk in the dreamtime with the drums. Mind still scattered, albeit for good things. No news on job, anticipation is killing me for a few things. But all is well. And I'm properly trained in harrassing people, thanks to work.

Off to go for a run through the subconscious. Type more manana..

Ok, I'm the queen of distraction today....

Not only is a recruiter dangling that fabulous job in front of my nose, not only is it exam season and I need to study something fierce, not only am I utterly unmotivated to work at a job that is disappearing, but someone just popped into my universe, and is actually holding my attention through all of this. To the point that I didn't get a lot of sleep due to conversation last night.

Yeah, I can hear all of you. WHOAH... I don't give up sleep easily, nor do many people hold my attention for terribly long. It's not a bad reflection on them, I'm just Irish Setter girl at times. I tend to be juggling about 17 things, and to get me to drop the to do list in my head is a minor feat. And I'm in a good mood about it(some of you just hit the floor). Yeah. Weird, huh?

Well, horrorscope said to ask the universe for what I wanted and it might actually show up this time. So I did. And it may have for many things in my life. I think I live in interesting times. God help me. And please don't leave too many scars. Last time this much happened in a short period of time, I fought tooth and nail and got a lot of scars and missed opportunities. This time I'm willing to wait and see and flow with it. And damn Abba, to hell I say! Quit singing "Take a chance on me" in all it's disco glory in my head! Ack... Weird weird feeling. Things don't drop into my lap normally, and it's been a dropping into my lap kinda week.

Argh, I'll go find comfort in invoices and finances and flash cards. Right after I check my email again and pinch myself :-)

Monday Monday

Aloha and good morning, noble readers..
I survived a lovely weekend yet again, despite the threat of the grumpies on Saturday night and Sunday. A bunch of us went to the December Nights thingie at Balboa park on Saturday. I have to say, what a travesty it's becoming! It used to be a wintertime Christmas celebration. Well, since the PC folks got a hold of it, it's turning into just another street fair. There were fewer "holiday" type things this year than past years, and since it was warmer than last year, a ton more people. Lots of rudeness and I was rather disappointed.

It's a shame, because the museums and International houses use it as a fund raiser for their activities. But it's turning into more of a general fund raiser and less of a holiday cheer sort of thing. Heck, I even signed the petition to turn it back into "Christmas on the Prado", mainly because I think it's a dying event due to lack of focus. Plenty of people there, but no real holiday cheer.

But I did enjoy our trip through the railroad museum, and visited the Khazak exhibit again so I could see the fantastic horse barding again. R and C were duly impressed as well! I got pictures of the applique on the tail piece, I may attempt to reproduce it on a coat or something.

Unfortunately after an evening of pushing through crowds, I was exhausted and left early with C. And unfortunately again, the stress monster ate my head, and I snapped at the neighbors when they were loud at around midnight. Luckily they're forgiving types...

Spent quality time with Evidence and Land Use again yesterday. Not as much as I would have liked, but I did make a big pot of potato sausage soup! Yummy! More studying tonight, then up early for training in Irvine in the morning. Blah, rush hour in SoCal... Oh heck, I wonder if I have anyone's couch I can crash on in OC...

The problem with having too many names...

I've got a bunch of names in my actual name. Then I got married and changed my middle name. Miraculously, the state of my birth sends me a birth certificate with my married last name on it. ACK! I was not born married to the guy, thanks...

So I get my divorce, survive 9/11, change careers, decide to go to law school, and sign up for the China program. Which requires a passport. Which requires a birth certificate that matches my driver's license. *le sigh*

The Internet will save me! I roam here and there, attempting to find anything telling me A. why this happened, and B. How to fix it. Yesterday I searched to no real avail. The city website was about as helpful as a brick to the foot. Must be all that snow heading their way. So I gave up on them.

But I know I'll need the divorce decree, so I order a copy of that from LaLa land, and search through my vital papers for all the accutrements of my various name changes. Thus I find my "corrected" birth certificate, and growl at it again at seeing my former married name again (jokes about Roto Rooter are not allowed!).

But on the birth certificate is a different office. A Records Amendment office! Ooooo, amendments. I want another amendment, please. Luckily the State of NY website is vastly easier and more informative. And lo and behold, they have an informational email address. So I shoot off an email, hoping for a real person with a brain.

A lovely woman emails me back, assesses my situation, and tells me how to fix it! Jackpot! Ding ding ding! This makes me happy. So once my various papers show up, I'll pack them all in, print out our email train, and ship it off to the nice lady so I can still get my passport within 6 months.

My quest is almost over!

Fascinating article about the Pharmaceutical Industry

The legal drug industry and the impact of one Indian manufacturer... http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.12/indiadrug.html

Fascinating stuff...

So very sorry to hear

J, hon, my best possible wishes and warmest thoughts are with you on your loss. Your gracious hospitality to your family and perseverence in the face of mortality are the stuff knights should be made of.

May your heart heal and the memories live on of your aunt.

http://fallingintoforty.blogspot.com/

And my reaction to the company newsletter article...

See, now I couldn't have said it better. Really when folks say I'm harsh, it's mainly beacuse I hold myself to the responsibility standard. No excuses, no reasons, start now. Granted, I don't always hit the standard, but I'm really trying to live up to it. And isn't that what integrity is about? Living up to whatever standard you value. Doesn't mean you're perfect, and I certainly don't expect perfection in others. That's up to them. Perfection is overrated - what the heck do you have to work on if you're perfect?

But I do see lies, deceit, discomfort with reality, confusion as a chance to figure stuff out. It doesn't feel right, it doesn't look right, so why ain't it right? It's not about being better than anyone but myself, and boy, do I compete hard with myself. But lately I've been learning to let up a bit and sit back to relax. Yes, I did learn something from you, B. Relaxing is important and shouldn't be ignored while under stress. I'm learning to be gentle with myself again. Push for the goals, yet take breaks. Balance, grasshopper, balance.

And I've decided that I need to make time for more creative stuff again during this break. My muse is sulking in the corner of my head lately for presenting all of these fantastic ideas for garb and dancing, yet getting pushed aside for one last pile of schoolwork. It's frustrating, because I'm usually the most creative and motivated to do creative stuff when I'm stressed out about how much work I need to get done. Productive procrastination? Ugh, not helping on either as I don't have time to finish the creative stuff until the school is over. And don't talk to me about wanting to hit the pell. I was doing really well with getting out the the pell a few times per week until the time changed and messed with my sunshine hours..

So yes, always looking for one more challenge, one more beautiful project, one more moment of grace.

My company newsletter has some great stuff.

WHERE YOU ARE NOW AS OPPOSED TO WHERE YOU WANT TO BE

Editor's note: This article first appeared in a July 2004 issue of our award-winning (debatable) newsletter. We're running it again because we're pedagogomaniacs. (Yes, we made up the word) It's an excerpt from Jack Canfield's book "The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want To Be."

If you want to create the life of your dreams, then you are going to have to take 100 percent responsibility for your life as well. That means giving up all your excuses, all your victim stories, all your reasons why you can't and why you haven't up until now, and all you're blaming of outside circumstances. You have to give them all up forever. You have to take the position that you have always had the power to make it different, to get it right, to produce the desired result. For whatever reason -- ignorance, lack of awareness, fear, needing to be right, the need to feel safe -- you chose not to exercise that power. Who knows why? It doesn't matter. The past is the past. All that matters now is that from this point forward you choose -- that's right, it's a choice -- you choose to act as if (that's all that's required -- to act as if) you are 100 percent responsible for everything that does or doesn't happen to you.

If something doesn't turn out as planned, you will ask yourself, "How did I create that? What was I thinking? What were my beliefs? What did I say or not say? What did I do or not do to create that result? How did I get the other person to act that way? What do I need to do differently next time to get the result I want?"

It is not the external conditions and circumstances that stop you -- it is you! We stop ourselves! We think limiting thoughts and engage in self-defeating behaviors. We defend our self-destructive habits (like drinking and smoking) with indefensible logic. We ignore useful feedback, fail to continuously educate ourselves and learn new skills, waste time on the trivial aspects of our lives, engage in idle gossip, eat unhealthy food, fail to exercise, spend more money than we make, fail to invest in our future, avoid necessary conflict, fail to tell the truth, don't ask for what we want -- and then wonder why our lives don't work. But this, by the way, is what most people do. They place the blame for everything that isn't the way they want it on outside events and circumstances. They have an excuse for everything.



You can change your thinking, change your communication, change the pictures you hold in your head -- your images of yourself and the world -- and you can change your behavior -- the things you do. That is all you really have any control over anyway. Unfortunately, most of us are so run by our habits that we never change our behavior. We get stuck in our conditioned responses -- to our spouses and our children, to our colleagues at work, to our customers and our clients, to our students, and to the world at large. We are a bundle of conditioned reflexes which operate outside of our control. You have to regain control of your thoughts, your images, your dreams and daydreams, and your behavior. Everything you think, say, and do needs to become intentional and aligned with your purpose, your values, and your goals.

Last class = painfully long

Evidence is just going on forever. I'm not participating in this review thing going on because it usually means that I get more confused by student questions. But I wanted to come and get the past bit of lecture before review. And everyone has some form of question. Ugh.

Yes, I'm bitching. I'm really looking forward to the Cosmo waiting at home. And getting rid of the last of the headache I have from greek jello wrestling with MySpace over blogs all night. I'd love to be a debugger for them. It would be such job security. But it's fun to talk to folks, so I'll go back. I find it more satisfying than Tribe thus far.

Almost done. I need to go home and fish out the gold lion applique I'm workng on. I need to recreate the pattern for the lions for an uber spiffy greek tunic I'm working on... Such fun to make pretty things again. I was rather uninspired for a few months there, and now I'm just itching to put it into fabric. For some reason I'm still on the garanimals lately, so stay tuned for pictures. I'll see if I can post the lion one I have partially finished later. I like it's simplicity.

Gooood night!

Better now

happier days
Yup, much happier today. I've stopped stressing myself out. And yes, I'm going to Estrella. Thank you to everyone who threatened to tie me to thier bumper to get me there, greatly appreciated! I will be there and I will be fighting and I will bring out Party Sammy for the evenings. In fact, we may have to have the pimp coat party with all the fantastic new coats I'm making for the ladies who rate them. Much sexy fuzzy warmth all around!

As for school, tonight is the last night of classes, wheeee! I get my take home exam tonight and start 2 weeks of pain and suffering and then I'm all better. Things should go fine. I spent quality time with Evidence last night and feel a bit better about that exam. And Admin law is open book. All I need to do there is create somethign organized to refer to and read through it a few million times.

So, it occurred to me as Janis Joplin and I were rollicking through traffic tonight (why is it that "holiday time" traffic is so much shittier than normal traffic?), that I'm almost done with the semester! I don't have to deal with the cocky Evidence professor again! No more leaving work to run to class and back! And I did enjoy my Land Use class, but I'm getting tired. Can't wait to get out, can't wait to figure out where the hell I want to live, can't wait to be a normal working schmoe again! And it was awfully nice for me to take last summer off and remember what real people live like. So yeah, I'm hoping to survive my last year with a relative lack of scars and much more success.

Almost there, folks, almost there.

And While I'm getting myself worked up, let's do the Math:

China program - $4,500
Expenses for the month I'm gone - $1,600
Bar/Bri - $2,900
Bar exam - $529
Laptop fee - $119
Moral character app - $431
MPRE - $55

So far that's $10,134

2 months of free time to study - $3500

Total of $13,634

Split by 13 months = $1,048.76 per month to come up with, assuming I take the exam in February 2008 and don't find diddley in money that entire month.

*headdesk*

There should be a vaccine

Ok, someone just shoot me. Right when my universe is stressful enough, I decide to freak out about the Bar exam. There must be something in the air. Or something catching, like a virus, thrown off by the students graduating this month and this summer. Sure, I have a whole year to go, 14 months until the Bar exam itself. But that doesn't seem terribly far to me. And I still don't know if I should be paying $3,000 for a Bar/Bri course or not. I am currently, I just have no idea if I'll be able to do it or not. I'd like to think I can work at least part time before the Bar - partially to get my obsessive ass out of the house and partially for the mental break of doing something else. But then I keep reading about people putting their universe on hold to study for 2 months beforehand. Ugh!

And all this is amusing. So much so, I should go tell my boyfriend... Oh wait.

Ack. Not that that wasn't a good choice either, but I do get a lot out of the simple concept of another human being marginally interested in my well being. It's not something I get from my family, all those damn Aquarians and Cancers. More hard shells than a July weekend at a crab shack! But I'm learning to figure it out with friends too. Just not quite the same thing.

So time for a reality check for my brain. I'll head home tonight after the gym, pull out all of the evidence info and get cracking on what really matters at this very moment. It's my first exam and the only one that requires memorization.

And try to turn off my damn brain, soothe the scaly lizard brain in panic mode and chill the hell out. And try not to stay up sewing tonight in sheer panic of "must make money for China and for two months of expenses so I can study for the Bar exam" mode. Yeah. I'll be fine, but I might wear myself out in the process. No wonder the Muppet Christmas movie sounded so appealing when I went to Columbia House last week.

Good news, have to post something good...

And just in case you're wondering, I'm up over $300 for the month, and may get as high as $500 in savings this month. Whew!

Survival responses

Oh hooray! More stress. So whatever dingbat scientist coined the phrase "stress is a survival response" is literally killiing me. As things heat up over here and my life gets ever more interesting, I'd just like to say that stress sucks. I got floored due to an allergic reaction to my cold meds yesterday, and today is shaping up just a nicely. Luckily, all that forced sleep seems to have killed whatever cold I had yesterday. But I'm still stressed out.

It's bad when I look at studying as a relaxing activity. Not that I can focus on the actual studying. But I'm damn well going to try. Ugh.

Puffer face

Life is just freaking grand when my cold medication makes my face itch. And my eyes are starting to puff. Oh joy, oh rapture. This is what they call a systemic allergic response. I can calmly say that now that I've been through dozens of these.

I'll be home sleeping off the huge dose of Benadryl I'm about to take to keep this from getting really bad. Cheerio folks!

Long weekend, oh hooray

Well, I survived part one of the holiday season. Mostly. Came out the other side rather beaten up, but I'm still going. I think I have a cold. I'm hoping the flu doesn't arise from it. I've been sniffling with abandon all weekend, and silly me, I keep thinking it's got to be allergies. but I'm still sniffling here at work this morning, so must be something more. I'm not allergic to anything at work.

Holidays are just not my favorite times, and yet I really do try to enjoy things. I try not to have great expectations for them anymore - too many years of disappointments. But I'm determined to have some form of holiday cheer, so I put up my Xmas tree after thanksgiving, and watched White Christmas. Eh. Still not there. Sniffling isn't helping. But went to a lovely holiday party on Friday and had a good time just hanging out with everyone.

At least we went shooting yesterday. Life is always a bit better when I prove yet again that I can still effectively hit a grapefruit at 10 yards. Go me.

Happy Monday folks, hope you're feeling better than I am.

No wonder there's a ton of October babies...

http://ask.yahoo.com/20061114.html

We're awash in Libras, thanks to New Years Eve.

It's beginning to look a lot like.....

Yeah, Xmas. I have a love-hate relationship with Christmas. I love the atmosphere, the shopping, the wrapping presents, eggnog, Christmas trees, children all in anticipation, the Christmas specials. But I despise the sanctimonious religious preaching about how wonderful we should all be to each other while we're gorging ourselves on the materialistic stuff. The trying too hard to make everything perfect. And now we get two months of it since they start putting everything out after Halloween. Oh hooray...

But I will indulge and make presents for others and do the shopping. I just wish there was more of the fun, social stuff. Back east, we went caroling and to various holiday performances a lot. Out here I'm supplementing my holiday with Disney - I can get a full holiday dose of good cheer in one day of roaming around that place. But still not the same as having folks over for tree trimming while it snows like hell outside. Eh, nostalgia. Gets me every time. So I went and bought Bing Corsby's White Christmas. It's by far my favorite Christmas movie ever. Good pat on the back for our troops, really sweet musical numbers, the tomfoolery of old time movie plots, and just a fun little production. Nothing too fancy, but it's fulfilling like homemade chicken soup is.

Sometimes things just get into perspective

Folks, a dear friend has reminded me that life is just too damn precious.

His aunt is very sick, and hearing about his attempts to help his aunt and uncle cope are just ridiculously inspiring. I give him such credit, as his love and concern are only expanded in the face of a terrible situation. He's not doing anything unique - a homecooked meal, driving relatives around - it's just what's necessary.

But he's doing it with a smile, as much good humor as he can muster, and just simple love. He's my friend, I'm proud to say. And he gets it, this whole life thing. It's hard, it's crazy. But when you get down to the basics, all that matters is doing the right thing and remembering the people you care about.

So hey, my friend, know that I care and my thoughts are with your family.

Weekend

Wow, I'm back at work and I don't feel like I ever left. I know I got sleep and lots of stuff done this weekend, but I don't feel like it. At least my car maintenance is almost done, and there's more money in my savings account...

Party yesterday was lovely - C did a fantastic job on food and decor, everyone seemed to have a great time. We all ate way too much, there was just so much food to choose from. Good times.

Now I'm off to actually get the stuff done tonight that I just didn't get done this weekend. I don't mind taking a weekend off since I'm so far ahead, but it would have been nice to get a few more things done.

Love...

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-19940301-000021.xml&print=1

fascinating crap..

Unintentionally Funny Albums of 2006

http://www.cracked.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=1285

Good bit of amusement, that...

Happiness, and how it works...

http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/conditions/11/10/happiness.overview/index.html

Hmm, I'm not sure if this is good news or not. But apparently is pretty much only about our close relationships with our family and friends. That's it once you have the basics to live and make $50,000 per year. And most things that make us happy are fleeting. Interesting stuff. It's making me ponder.

Rain and Running Away

http://www.weather.com/activities/homeandgarden/schoolday/fun/rain.html

Sometimes you just need a little fun... (stolen from my Burning Man list)

Went to the gym, and got on the treadmill. It's been a hectic, tiring, crazy few days. Hit my normal buttons and jumped into my stride. It was like coming home. Sometimes when you run, you hit that glorious high where breathing is easy, the muscles are eager, and your feet grab up ground like a Japanese hot dog eating champion. I hit it today, and it was glorious. Listening to Eurythmics on the MP3 player, and Annie Lennox had the voice of a goddess. We glided through a 10 minute mile together (yes, I'm slow). It was just what I needed. Maybe I'll actually get some sleep tonight.

Big Fat Pile of Fun

So, I created my schedule for next semester. Unfortuantely I can't take classes during the day anymore, so it's back to 4 night of fun per week, woohoo!

So Mondays and Wednesdays I'll be at school ntil 9:30. Not too bad. At least it's not until 10pm like it is now. And I still have Friday nights off. But I liked having 2 nights per week off of school. It was much easier to get homework done this semester, andstill have a smidgen of time to study and clean house.

Now to get the cash for books and tuition. Oh yay, is it graduation yet?

Khazak goodness!

This weekend, my honey and I went through some of the Balboa Park museums. This was especially cool because he remembered that I said I'd wanted to see the Khazak Nomad exhibit at the Mingei Museum. I completely forgot about it, but he in all his considerateness, remembered it. Yay!

And it was very cool! Limited number of items, but a decent array of textile arts and metalwork. There was also a verrrry cool reproduction of horse barding, complete with 3' horns on the bridle. Made the horse essentially look 8' tall! Very fierce, I can see why the Romans wet their pants when they saw that charging at them! I got the exhibit book, especially once I found it in softcover for $25. Lots of good basic pictures and motifs. I wish they had had a closeup of the tail cover on the horse barding. It had a really cool bit of leather applique on it that I wouldn't mind reproducing. Maybe I'll go back with a camera this time!

Oh yeah, that event thing...

Nope, didn't go to QC this weekend. Part of that whole "too much crap to get done while still catching up on sleep thing". Silly me.

I'll go to something at some point. Maybe Yule. Yule is nice.

Pimp Coats!

And for all of you who said you wanted pimp coats for Estrella, now is the time!

Boy, do I have fabric! I even have a few already cut out. Speak up if you want one.

Stuff to get done

Hmm, well, as usual, I have a good sized to do list, and I have parts of it started. But what I need to do is get things done and off the list. So, I'm starting to set goals for each week to work on. Once they're done, they're off the list. Once the list is done, I'll add more goals onto a new one. Not the best system, but I tend to flit between projects at times, and nothing is truly done until much later than I'd like.

So this week we'll start the process with the last of my homework for the semester and the sewing I most need to get off my list. It's tempting to add the easy projects first, just to mark them off. But I need to tackle some of the big, ugly monsters before they create too many late night headaches!

So, Happy Monday! I'm off to get 'er done!

A Man of the World

Tom Abercrombie was a writer and photographer for National Geographic. And what a guy he was! I grew up reading National Geo, it's always been one of my favorite magazines for the supurb quality of the articles and photos and the sheer depth of the coverage in articles. More often than not I find myself researching based off one of their articles, and Tom was one of the reasons I did so.

I didn't know it until I read his obituary in the August issue, but his stories have inspired me, touched me, and given me purpose in looking into topics I'm interested in. He embodied some of the qualities I value highly, such as creativity, knowing languages, travel, going native, exploitation of one's own talents, and listening. I was glad to read that someone whose work I've admired over the years was a person to admire in and of himself.

Even more inspiring to me was the fact that he had left friends behind from all over the world. People from many cultures and countries remembered Tom, and the other writers from National Geo seem to find his friends in many places. We have a tendency in this country to be comfortable in our places and routines, avoiding our neighbors and looking down on others in their lesser state. We can comfortably go out for Thai food, yet not ever want to go to Thailand, much less learn the language and meld with the locals for a short period of time. We're happy to let folks live in neighborhoods divided by language and cultural differences, yet we tout our "American melting pot". There are lots of reasons for this, yet the differences are what make us rich.

So yeah, reading about someone who made it outside those boundaries, developed any skill he felt he needed, and was comfortable with people despite their differences is an inspiration to me. Tom, rest in peace. You truly lived!

Pointy End of the Spear

And another gem from the LandAm newsletter - these guys are good!

I would argue that the toughest job in all the Marine Corps is that of an infantry squad leader in combat. The mission of a Marine rifle squad is to locate, close with, and destroy the enemy by fire and maneuver, or repel the enemy's assault by fire and close-combat. The squad leader is responsible for the lives and performance of three four-man fire-teams. These Marines are the proverbial "pointy end of the spear" that routinely gets up close and personal with the enemy. Strip away all the politics, peel back all the strategic plans, get beneath campaign and operational planning, and what you have left, in its purest form, is foreign policy balanced on the shoulders of a squad leader in his early-twenties who is leading twelve other warriors even younger than him.
Matthew Dodd

Coffee v. Cup

Yes, I'm stealing everything from the Company Newsletter today. There are some real gems:

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and in life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the alumni had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it's normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, this may be the source of your problems and stress.

"What you all really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were sizing up each other's.

"Now consider this: Life is the coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are the cups. They are the tools that hold and contain life. They do not change the quality of life. Don't let the cup dictate how the coffee is going to taste."

Darn good idea..

This year, officials from the Department of Veterans Affairs are encouraging all former service members to wear their medals on Saturday as a show of pride and patriotism.

"You don't have to put them on only if you're in a parade," said VA Secretary Jim Nicholson. Wear them to work, play golf, or even go to the store. "Let America know that you took that oath and served."

The idea is based on celebrations in countries such as Australia, where veterans and their family members routinely display their medals on national holidays.

Privacy, it's a lovely illusion....

So perhaps you think I'm nutso for posting my personal views on a public blog. Perhaps you don't give a flying rats butt, and strangely find yourself back at my site anyhow. Either way, I find it funny when folks squack about how much I'm willing to post. Here's the thing: I'd say it to you in person, why not record it for my future embarrassment/amusement/entertainment?

See, the point of journaling (to me) is to record your thoughts for future reflection. Or to make them permanent in some fashion. Or to just get crap out that needs to be hashed. Rarely do I delete, remove, or otherwise pull things from the public forum. Simply put, I am who I am, and I'm not big on excuses or shirking from what I think. I'm happy to jump on the "dammit I live in America, and I like the implication that I have some form of Free Speech" box. I apologize if I hurt or create a wrong, fix the really important ones if I can. But for the most part, you won't find me regretting or retracting much. It's really just not ok unless someone changes my mind. And even then, I'm more likely to post the thought process of changing my mind than retracting or removing my thought.

So the concept of "oh no! Someone might read this!" is terribly funny to me. I can't help but smirk and think "duh" when folks freak out about someone reading their blog. Dumbass, if you were worried about privacy, why were you posting publicly? Or online at all? They make lovely blank books for people like you, go buy one. For the rest of us who are into exchanging ideas, discussing the universe, and hearing about the next random thing on the Internet - Rock on, my friends! I may not agree with you, I reserve the right to make my own judgments about your views, but I'll back up your right to post crap until your fingers bleed. Unless it's against the law, and then I'll refer you to one of my high priced friends to go argue your case for you.

Freedom to think is my personal soapbox - you have a right to your own personal thoughts on a matter. I reserve my right to disagree, but I'm more likely to respect folks who actually have a view they've thought about rather than just parroting whatever crap comes along. But if you like parroting crap and accept it's limitations, you go Sparky! Just don't pretend it's not public when you post online. Intelligence and forethought - rare virtues...

Teflon Name Calling crap

Got a call last week from a friend who just wanted some reassurance about gossip and being called nasty names. She was apparently upset about what specific people were saying about her in a part of her life, and took offense to it. Nothing wrong with any of that on the surface, but it was keeping her from doing important things, like her job, effectively. So my question to her was “why would you let that affect you?” Now, I know it’s hard when people are saying anything nasty about you. I have been called a number of names in the past, and I’m sure there is more of this to come in the future. Folks hate to be called nasty things, and for good reason. It hurts to be referred to in the negative, but then you could have the rhinoceros skin I’ve got.

See, I grew up with a good amount of crap being thrown my way from lots of directions. On the surface, nothing bad really. But emotionally, like many folks, I had a really hard time. I took everything personally, made everything my business, took myself way too seriously, and basically made a nuisance of myself. I was so busy trying to be fantastic that I got in the way of my own strengths. Then I broke. Cracked in half one day, as I contemplated my future. I didn’t see any future for myself because I had bound myself so tightly around my ideals and what was “supposed” to happen. And the wrong things had happened. I just cared wayyyy to damned much about crap I had absolutely no control over. Things were basically crumbling around me. And I was neglecting myself and the stuff I really did have control over. I was chunky, annoying, and had issues finishing anything. Not a good combo. I didn’t like me either.

But I broke. I had 2 choices at that point – stay as I was and continue trying to make something work that obviously wasn’t working or change and make something entirely new from what was left of me. I forced myself to try new things, stop some of the old bad habits, change where I saw myself in the future, got some more challenging goals. In the process, I had a lot of crap to clean out. So I did. Years of cleaning and working later, and I feel a hell of a lot better, stronger, faster. Yep, I am the $2,000 woman. Budget high tech, you know.

But I’ve noticed a lovely effect lately. I’m Teflon girl! Shit doesn’t stick anymore, and if it does, a quick hose down, and voila! I’m sexy again. Granted, a lot of that has more to do with my attitude than anyone else. I’m sure the gossip is out there, and people are talking crap. They just do. It’s a given – we’re cranky little monkeys. And I still get annoyed once in a while, mainly because it’s stupid. Or I’m stressed out – everything gets tougher when I’m stressed. But when I’m not, I’m Lake Placid, baby! You can waterski on my sparkling surface, wheeee! Bring on the crap, I can take just about anything.

So here are some of my favorite names I’ve been called and why they’re amusing – enjoy!

Slut/Whore – c’mon folks, this one’s just amusing. It was apparently the most popular when I wasn’t getting any for months on end. Major dry spell. That was the kicker there…Funny, eh? And even when things are better, my life just isn’t centered around that. Besides, this takes time – have you ever noticed? Time and effort. Neither of which I have an abundance. And I’m too terrified of catching something nasty and becoming a statistic. Eh, have fun with that one.

Traitor – wait a minute, don’t I have to join, swear to, have allegiance to something in order to betray it? Last I checked, I only had those things to the people I love, and even then, I don’t demand such extremes from them. So check my file, but I haven’t signed anything permanent. Gauntlet might be different – that’s something you earn in blood. Feds were different too – big scary piles of paperwork and oaths. But neither of those groups of folks were the ones saying this. And I haven’t run the Gauntlet, nor am I with the Feds anymore. Hmm… I mean, I suppose this could apply? I’m sure there’s something terrible there I’ve done at some point in my life to someone I was supposed to have some duty towards. Maybe? Digging deep here. Not coming up with any good reasons this one cropped up. Whatever.

Bitch – my mother is not a dog. You really don’t want to go there. However, our collective know it all, annoying as hell attitudes, and big mouths would lend themselves to be considered bitchy by those with lesser self confidence. Family trait I think. I’ll take this one. Bring it.

Gold digger – Wow. Have you seen my bank account lately? How about my records of what was spent on whom? I tended to spend myself into oblivion in spoiling others in the past. If this were true, I’d probably have a lot more to show for it. I’m just sayin’. But you can use it. It’s funny when I’m a really terrible gold digger…

Crown chaser – Hahahahahahahaha, ahem. Wow, I must be shitty at that too. No tin hat here. No prospect of one that I know of. Oh hell, that would require me to go to court and stuff. While I would do it if a friend had an itch to do it, that’s pretty much the only way. And it would have to be a really good friend and a really major itch. The thought gives me hives at times… Isn’t there something more career oriented I should be doing than chasing men with imaginary royal titles so I can sleep with them in the chance that they’ll give me an imaginary royal title? I mean, really… And I have a man. He’s quite the man, without the shiny bits. I think I’ll take this one too, it’s a great laugh.

Thief – yeah, this was a good one. Especially since the party passing it around had actually taken money and valued things from me. Sure, I’ve stolen something in my lifetime. You can slap this one on there too. I’m no angel, except for when I lived in Angels. That was fun. But no hurty McHurty here. Funny how the things most true about others are what they label you. Gossip tip there. Run with it if you're feeling snarky.

Yup, Teflon I tell you. And these are just the actual label ones. I’m sure there are more, but these are the ones that were spread enough for them to come back around to me. Maybe I should run for an office or something so I can hear the really cool ones. That’s always fun!

Big difference

Wow! Huge difference between this week and last week. Apparently I needed that break from this reality for a bit.

Went home last night and did laundry and homework for 5 hours. Didn't get as much done as I would like, but I think I got all of my homework done for the week, which means anything else I get done is a bonus! And I cleaned house, have clean clothes, and have another pending project to work on.

But what a difference a few days off made. I slept wonderfully this last two nights, got to the gym today, even lost a few pounds in the process. Amazing what a break will do for you, eh?

And I was even able to figure out most of the Xmas gifts for the few folks I need to get stuff for. It's going to be a low budget year, but I think everyone understands. But I'm not sweating it.

Next up is to line up my projects, set goals for getting one or two done per week, and laying out the finals study timing. Flash cards start this weekend for Evidence. Should be entertaining. And I think my budget is on track as well. Pretty cool, actually. Nice to feel on track and relaxed for once.

Can't remember if I posted this one or not. But I like it...

“Most of these courses (get rich quick schemes) are so seductive, Farrell says, because they operate according to a tried-and-true principle of behavioral psychology called the variable ratio reinforcement schedule. Basically, people (and rats) will persist in doing something, even with little or no return, if they are given the tiniest bit of hope of a coming reward.”

Wow. I read that and suddenly so many things became clear about people. It pretty much sums up some people’s existence. They’ll hold onto some situation way beyond its usefulness in the dream of some higher reward. Wow. And the seduction factor is huge! I know a few people who have gotten sucked into the get rich quick, self-help, take a course and your life will change pattern. I watched a friend deep six his marriage because of his desire to just keep trying these things until he basically bankrupted himself on the rocks of self help gurus. He so wanted to find a fast way to make their financial situation better, that he ruined it on a more immediate time scale. Not much help, eh? You end up spending huge amounts of money and pretty much just get the satisfaction of saying you took all these courses. That and $3 will get you a cup of overpriced coffee!

And really, at the end of the day, that’s all any of this is. The satisfaction of living life as it is. Souvenirs, pictures, diplomas, degrees are only as good as what we do with them, or to remind us of the experience. Any of the material stuff, including the health of your body, can get sucked away in an instant. Placing your value on whether you achieve some lofty goal is only partially the picture. If you don’t enjoy the process of getting what you’re aiming for, was it really worth getting in the first place? Because really, all there is is this minute in time. You can’t count on there being too many more. Heck, I work in a high rise in earthquake country. While they say I’m pretty damn safe up here, I still believe that if a huge earthquake comes along, I’ll come a tumbling down just like everyone else.

Now, I believe in achieving goals and such as much as anyone else. But there’s a part of me that remembers kissing my grandmothers for the last time and the experience of gasping for air on a hospital gurney. In those moments, money and status didn’t matter. I couldn’t tell you what I was wearing or what car I was driving at the time. All that mattered was a chance to share experiences with the people I love and be an amusing footnote in a number of people’s lives. My memories are more important, and I can create more through getting out and trying stuff. What I’ve discovered lately is that it’s a matter of perspective. Sure, you can want things and try to get people to do things. There will be conflicts and hard stuff to deal with. But are you prolonging the pain and suffering by insisting on a certain goal while losing the enjoyment of living right now, is it worth it? Are you tormenting the people who care about you just to increase your perceived status in the world? Do you drive people away with your singular insistence that they conform to your world? Are you insisting on continuing one hobby or scheme or principle to the extent that you don't even know who you are or who you should be?

Some things, like dieting to improve your health, might be worth the bit of suffering to improve your quality of life and health. And there are ways to enjoy the experience, even while going through the hard parts. It’s all about paying attention. And getting reality checks on a regular basis…not just your reality, but everyone’s reality. The sky’s blue out there, open up and take a look.

An excellent reminder...

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

~Theodore Roosevelt

National Do Not Call list

Just a reminder that this exists. I need to go add my parent's new cell number to the list:

You can add your number by calling toll free,
1-888-382-1222 from the telephone number you wish to register or by visiting www.donotcall.gov

Oh.My.God.

http://arts.monstersandcritics.com/reviews/article_1217548.php/Evil_Dead_The_Musical_Reviewed

Just read it. It's priceless. I think I need to see it.

Neat employment website

Gives 10 year projections for various occupations.

http://www.projectionscentral.com/projections.asp?

More on being a Super Villian..

Chapter 1 - Henchmen
"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man" - Jack Handey

Your first task is to assemble an entourage of brainless thugs. Thugs will be a major part of your plans, as you don't want to be tackling any heroes first off. You will need some excessive drawn-out violence to soften them up first. Wave after wave of expendable, drivelling idiots are obviously critical to this. Finding buffoons of a low enough calibre is always a problem, but if you follow the tried and tested checklist below, you can't go wrong.

Things to remember when picking your henchmen:

Intelligence
First you will need to give them an IQ test. If they score any higher than 60, ditch them. If your henchmen have a mental capacity greater than a squirrel, they may realise that the odds are stacked against them when faced with a man who has just killed 30 other henchmen with his bare hands, and turn on you.

Moral status
It is vitally important that your thugs have no moral status whatsoever. Test this by running over a small furry animal in front of them. If they react, they're out. If faced with a tough dilemma, these thugs may have the audacity to help the under-dog or save the kid. This is clearly unacceptable.

Attraction
It's important to make sure that your henchmen are castrated as soon as they are initiated. If they fall for the girl, you'll be in a whole heap of trouble. If they don't have to think about sex, their mind will be on violence, 100%. Because they have had their testicles removed, their testosterone levels will drop. Inject them regularly to avoid disappointment.

Love of mindless violence with no regard for personal safety

Henchmen need to be able to react to any situation. With violence. This is good for two reasons:

1. Thugs should always resort to killing the person who is mucking about with your plans.
2. In a heated melee, you should be able to escape un-scathed, leaving your henchmen to fight on regardless. If they are obsessed with their own safety, they'll be running too, leaving nobody to distract your attacker.

Lack of imagination

If your henchmen have imagination, they may try to think for themselves instead of following your orders. You do not pay these people to think. You are the evil genius, so you do all the thinking. Ask them what they think it would be like to fall off a cliff and hit nasty rocks. If they can't come up with an answer, they're in. (You will also know that they won't be afraid to fight around dangerous machinery, shark infested waters etc, as they are too stupid to imagine danger…)

Counting
It's important for your business that henchmen cannot count for two reasons:

1. Large numbers of armed guards should not intimidate your brutish entourage. If they don't know the odds, they won't care.
2. You can pay them less.

Wild fire

All thugs need the ability to spread hundreds of bullets in all directions. With their level of intelligence, you wouldn't expect them to be able to hit a dead elephant at point-blank range. (If they can shoot straight, and have passed the other tests, they are a rare find indeed.) For this reason, you need to make sure that they can hold down the trigger of a machine gun until they run out of bullets. Extra ammo isn't usually a problem, as they would either have been killed, or killed the enemy after the first salvo. Experiment with sticky tape behind the trigger, or pick thugs with arthritis in their fingers. The next thing to remember is that they will need to produce stupidly wide arcs of fire. Make them practise this random flailing on a plastic sheet smeared with butter.

The ability to drive badly
All henchmen need this skill in order to drive madly through a town square attracting the attention of police cars. Once they have crashed and exploded, the hero may be caught and slowed down by random policemen.

The boss is always right
If your henchmen ever question your insane logic, or even your apparently senseless outbursts, you should kill them straight away. That way, you'll always be able to gloat, laugh, scream or kill without ridiculous enquiries. NB: Questions detract from wide-eyed guffawing, don't let it happen!

Appreciation
Remember that your henchmen need your love and appreciation, or they will not feel valued as an employee. You can show your appreciation by not beating them every day.
You can let them pull the secret lever once in a while. Exactly what effect this will have will differ depending on your super-secret base of operations.
The last thing that you can do to show your appreciation of good thuggery is to promote a henchmen to the status of evil assistant. You should kill this person for failure every now and again so that your other employees get a chance to progress. The "dead man's shoes" ethos is very appropriate here.


Chapter 2 - Evil lair - part A

Your evil lair is very important. If you are merely squatting in a back alley, you will not be very credible as an evil genius. You need to have an impenetrable lair of doom. Your enemies need to be filled with a certain level of angst before entering. Take Dracula for example. No hero ever entered his castle thinking it would be as simple as stake-and-go. In order to make it as inhospitable as possible, follow these simple guidelines:

Location
Pick the location of your staging grounds with care. If you set up in the middle of town, you may find that you get untimely visits from health inspectors, or occasionally from the RSPCA if you are working on genetically enhanced animals. A barren wasteland, a hidden nuclear bunker, or an abandoned castle on a rock in an obscure European location, are ideal. NB on castles: Avoid properties owned by the English Heritage. Guided tours are a nuisance.

Lighting
Lighting is important. Your guests or invaders need to be walking into a foreboding environment. You can achieve this with dribbly candles and wall torches. Alternatively, you can confuse them horribly with disco lighting, strobe effects and smoke machines. Which ever you choose, make sure that you apply some thought, your unwitting victims will appreciate it.

Traps
Traps are crucially important. A devious super-villain will always have need for traps. Your traps will also need to come in layers for maximum effect.

Layer 1 needs to be reasonably challenging. Giant rolling balls, poison darts fired from the walls and falling weights are important parts of this layer. They will weed out the chaff and save you from having to re-arm the particularly fiendish traps.

Layer 2 traps need to be ridiculously easy to work around. They will constitute mantraps, slippery floors, lots of winding staircases and pools of rather hot oil. These traps are merely there to give the clever heroes a false sense of security and leave them un-prepared for the next level.

Layer 3 is the epitome of intellectual deviousness. Huge spinning blades of death. Lots of them. Exploding pigs and laser guided halibut flying from the walls. These are the pearls of irrefutable insanity. More fiendish than a fiendish thing in the middle of fiendish season, your level three traps should be clever and random enough to wipe out an army of Oxford graduates.

NB: Don't waste your expendable thugs on testing traps. They usually can't work out how to use the toilet without peeing on their own shoes, let alone work out elaborate traps…


Chapter 2 - Evil lair - part B

Elaborate execution area
This is the crowning glory for any evil super-villain. Painfully slow moving lasers and tanks full of sharks are a favourite. Be as inventive as possible with your execution area. You will want to savour the moment as you laugh maniacally in front of the world summit after killing their best agent. It is usually a good idea to install a lever or big red button that activates a nasty device such as a falling weight. That way, you can let your henchmen take it in turns to execute people.

Pointless untidy looking barrels
These are not the most obvious of furnishings, but are as important as the badly strung chandelier. You can fill these barrels with all manner of chemical death. Highly flammable chemicals are a favourite, as are oozing nuclear waste. They have two functions.

1 They provide obvious cover for budding spies and soldiers hell-bent on stopping you. They will realise all too late, with the random spray of bullets from your brainless thugs, that barrels are the last place to hide.
2 They look nice at dinner parties when covered with a frilly tablecloth. (You must be cultured as well as having an insatiable lust for power and destruction….)

Hidden escape facility
This speaks for itself. Without a hidden escape facility, you may as well give yourself up to the UN peacekeepers straight away. You could use a jet propelled escape pod, a large trampoline and parachute, or even a particularly fast dolphin if you've chosen an underwater base.

Weapon store
Weapons! Lots of them. Find the biggest baddest weapons you can get and make sure that every henchman has the keys to the store. Flame throwers are a must, but the real cherry on the cake is a chain fed machine gun mounted on the back of a JCB, or alternatively a bear.

Ominous hidden orchestra
This adds real character to your lair. The invaders who try to take your base will not only have to deal with henchmen and traps, but the incessant hum of a cello and the odd sporadic burst of violins in an ear piercing crescendo as a thug turns the corner firing wildly. NB: make sure that your thugs are equipped with earmuffs. This has the added bonus of making any would-be hero laugh instead of fire.

Insignia
An evil emblem is great when it comes to tying all of your efforts together. This is most important to your base of operations. Without the evil insignia, other super-villains could rip-off your ideas. I have found that it's often a good idea to patent some of your more fiendish traps. You can leave your emblem at random intervals, so that everyone knows the carnage was instigated by you. It's the little touches that count.

Choices

Had a conversation about possibilities and the future last night. Nothing specific to me, I was helping someone else clear out their head a bit, but it got me thinking about the choices I make and how it affects where I am and where I'm going.

Bear in mind, that I had a period of my life to kick at all these things in my head. I went to Tony Robbins seminars about how to make the life of your dreams, visualizing goals, yadda yadda. Lots of self help books. I learned about having the courage to say something isn't right in getting a divorce, and boy, there's nothng more scary than saying something like that isn't right. I still feel I made the right choice, but whew! It's tough! And I went through the therapy to be ok with it. Yes, it takes therapy in my opinion. If you can't clean out your own head on this stuff, you have to learn to live with carrying around that baggage. And dumping it on everyone around you. No thanks, I'll take the brainwash option, Bob...

But yeah, what it all came down to in my universe is basically this. Who and what do I want in my life, and what does it take to make that possible? I knew I wanted a better job than the ones I've been getting, so I figured out that law was a good place for me. Here I am. I figured out that I needed to live somewhere more worldly and diverse than Western NY. Here I am, with a bit of meandering. I figured out that I need creative crap in my life - hence dancing, sewing, SCA, music, etc. There it is.

But beyond that, I dunno. I think I want kids, but you give up a lot in having them. You gain a lot too. And who do I need to decide to be with to make that happen? But a lot depends on where I end up after school. I hate the thought that "things will work themselves out". That's kinda scary, since the last time I let that happen, I ended up married to a nice guy, but we made each other miserable. Eh, who knows? Job might define a lot of this, but not being sure about what kind of job I want is making this a bit unfocused. As for relationships, I've got the skills to be happy with someone. Relationships are a skill - don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It takes skill to ignore the things that annoy you, to gently bring up things that need to be discussed, to keep things going, to mesh with someone else's life, to define what you need. It's never easy, you make mistakes. There's not happily ever after - it's a kind of career thing. You have to choose to be with someone over being alone. Once I lost that princess "take care of me" mentality, everything got a lot easier. And real. You don't make each other happy, you "find" your happy in the relationship. Big difference in expectations there. If you're both not getting what you want, it ain't gonna work.

And I guess I'm just not really interested in mediocre. I don't want to have the "go to work, come home, watch tv, go to bed" routine that seems to be everyone's life. Sure, we all do that to some extent, but it just isn't satisfying to me on a constant basis. Some routine is ok, but I can't even manage to watch the same tv show two weeks in a row unless I'm really dilligent. Just not my thing. So we'll see. I'm not sure, I'm kind of in a holding pattern until school and the bar is over. But I hate holding patterns too. What's the point unless you're enjoying the journey, eh?

Wow... that was all rather deep. Perhaps I should watch more South Park and Drawn Together. Off to drink with my family all weekend. Dammit, why did the airlines stop letting you take liquids on the plane? Red eyes were so much more satisfying when you could start the morning with a bloody mary. Remind me to beat up a terrorist.

San Diego Thrift Stores..

http://www.bargainlink.com/thrift-stores.htm#EastCounty

I love places that compile info...