Huh?

Does Broiled Goat Cheese with Pumpkin Seed Sauce sound good to anyone?

Me neither. Why the hell does Google keep popping up that linkfor the recipe then?
I'll never understand... But then I also don't understand why people have recipes for green salad. It's salad. You put the green stuff down, you put some stuff with protein and taste on top, maybe a spot of dressing, and voila! Salad.

Mrf...

I think I'm in love with this blog

http://anonymouslawyer.blogspot.com/

All the reasons why I will likely never be a big firm lawyer. Well, that, and my tendency to wear flip flops when I've spent the weeknights reading a book until ridiculous hours and can't function well enough to actually tie or buckle shoes in the morning. I am truly not a morning person. And they truly aren't fond of flip flops on lawyers. Just sayin'...

Shovelling past the bullshit!

So, I’m pondering my post from a few days ago on MySoace regarding a friend and ex who neglected to let me know he was moving to AZ with his new girlfriend, yet pumped me for info about my current life. It amused me that this pissed me off. It does, but now that my usual lava-for-feelings have cooled a bit I can examine the topography of the situation a bit more clearly.

Why does this bug me? Well, the biggest reason has to do with the dynamics of this particular friendship. He’s had a dominant pattern in our interactions of paternalistic assumptions. In English, he assumes constantly that he knows how I feel and what’s best for me because of it. That wasn’t such an issue during the times when we actually talked regularly, as I’m open about that stuff and generally don’t have a problem communicating what’s going on. But what annoys me in this instance is that we haven’t talked for almost 7 months. He forwards me interesting crap from the Internet, but no contact, no Hi-how-you-doings, no update on life the universe and everything. So I find it entertaining that he assumes that I would be hurt by him having a new girlfriend, assumed that I would be annoyed that it’s working out, and he’s being secretive and childish about not wanting his supposed “friend” (me) to know about the situation. In fact, I wouldn't have even known about it if another friend hadn't included me on the going away party invite.

Now, I own that I’m assuming here, but that’s pretty much been the pattern on the times we’ve been just friends and dating other people. He plays the high school game of “You’re my ex, and you don’t need to know who I’m serious about, but I’ll drop you crumbs about those I’m not serious about just so you know I’m dating”. Are you tired yet from reading this crap? I am….

So I went to the obvious places and did a systems check. I poked a stick in the dark spot that was my feelings for him. Not much there. A bit of “hope he’s doing ok?”, but none of the former longing and caring that I had when I actually dated him and had any sort of return from him of my actual feelings. Good good…

I poked a stick in the cave of resentment and saw what little monsters were clinging to that stick – it was mostly the friendship issues of “why doesn’t he talk to me?”, “dumbass professes to be my friend yet never tells me anything”, and “my other friends are more giving than him”. Hmm, not doing too shabby here. So I trundled over to the accounting table and tallied up what I would lose by just dumping him out of my life. Hmm, all I get from this person is random forwarded shit via email. While past gifts of knowledge have been generous, I can use Google just fine, thanks. Hmm, downsides? Hello, I said downsides? The only things I came up with were to do with other mutual friends who will likely still talk to him. I’m a big girl, we have plenty of other things to talk about. I don’t see the downside here…Total friendship loss calculation comes out positive for the dumping. Excellent.

So yeah, while I am pissy about being treated like a little animal in the menagerie that is his feelings (he’s a scientist, if he reduces the little monsters to specimens, he can poke at them and they’re not scary), I’m done. Finis. Sayonara! Have a nice life. Say Ciao as you drive by on your little motor scooter with your new chica. But no more responses to your shitty little emails. The net sum on our interactions has been less than satisfying, and while you have a great chick magnet in that huge black hole that has engulfed your heart, I don’t need any more projects, thank you. I spent a lot of money on therapy to be able to just say no to crazy men in my life, thanks. Time to actually use some of that crap.

So yeah, not as bad as I thought it was, but whew! Took a bit of asbestos underwear and patience to sort that mess out. I'm feeling better, how about you?

Fabulous! Time for a holiday weekend. Pass the Guiness!

Sadness

Big fat sigh....

My Samurai Sam's Teriyaki is gone.... Bwahahahahahha! No more crap puffs! I have to drive to get the little buggers now. How dreadful! And it's been replaced by a mediocre sushi place. How sad! I already have a sushi place - you couldn't be original? It's prime real estate, it should be a Jamba Juice or something that we don't have 47 of in the area. And crab puffs. No one on this coast sells crab puffs anymore! Yes, I know. They're little fried wonton things with cream cheese, crab, and scallions. Nothing huge. I can make them at home. But I don't want to - I want to walk down the street and buy a pack for $3 :-) Oh hello big butt, that's where you came from!

I will miss my Samurai Sam's. I did actually eat healthy food there too. Good crisp veggies in the teriyaki bowls, and you can't beat it for $7. But I suppose they'd rather make sushi. Personally I think we needed something more interesting. Granted, we're spoiled to death with everything from Tapas to Creole on the block, with fantastic Italian and pizza as well. But sheesh, the sushi place on the next block is clean and spiffy - why create another sushi place in a dingy little store?

Ugh, the inhumanity. And if you can't see my tongue in my cheek, you're not paying attention!

Happy Birthday Dubby!

Everyone go out and wish my fantastic brother, Jeff(ie. Dubby), a wonderful birthday!

Now, understand, I forgot it was his birthday. I'm terrible at birthdays. It's part of the reason why I don't celebrate birthdays too enthusiastically on the actual day. I have a terrible time remembering when they actually are. But I lucked out and actually called him on his real birthday like a good sister. Until he reminded me that it was his birthday - oops!

Luckily he loves me and I love him, and we're all good. I'll send over his present on Friday when the money magically shows up in my account.

So why is my brother so wonderful? Well, he's MY brother. And he's a character like me. He's fun and goofy and a kick ass salesman. His fiancee thinks he's a stud, and he's got too many houses at the moment. (anyone want to buy a nice 2 bedroom home in NOVA?) His new house is rockin and it's in one of those country club developments. Yet he still likes his cheap beer, football games, bocce ball tournaments on the holidays, and kicking back with the rest of us yahoos in the family. I'm proud of my brother, and dammit you should be too! Being my brother is a difficult job at times, and somehow he's stuck to it and created a good life for himself to boot.

Happy birthday Bro!

Thankful?

A word about life, the universe and having everything…

Well, yeah. At the end of the day we should all be “Oprah at the beginning of the day” thankful for everything. We should praise our lucky stars and jump up and down with peaceful joy and paint ourselves pink and do performance art in celebration. When you come back to Earth, Sparky, let me know. The reality is a bit more sobering. We live in a great place, don’t get me wrong. But the joy of being human is that you can be in the most beautiful, happy, restful place and you could screw it all to heck in a heartbeat because your drink isn’t cold enough. We’re fickle buggers. I remember being a child and being so wound up about something on Christmas that despite getting my #1 toy on the list (after the pony, never got the *&$%$ pony), that I would be miserable all day. Amazing what a certain perspective will do for whether you appreciate what’s around you.

So while we have nice places to live, food, clothing, TV, yadda yadda, most of us aren’t happy. Why? Perspective. I don’t care who you are or what you do every day – if you decide not to like something or someone, you’re gonna have a hard time changing that unless you fix your own head. That person can work their patootie off trying to impress you, and until you decide to change it, you won’t like them. The big problem is when you decide you don’t like anything. Ever. Except those little cheesy crackers in the Chex mix. But life can’t be made of those little cheesy crackers. Despite my many efforts to the contrary and supporting our Space program, I still can’t vote anyone off my planet. If wishes were spacecraft, lots of folks would be sucking vacuum. So in the meantime, I need to adjust my own attitude, all by myself.

Does this mean I have to be nice to everyone? No, but they do have to earn respect, otherwise I’m sticking with good old fashioned courtesy.

Does this mean I like everyone? What kind of crack are you smoking?! No, I don’t have to like everyone, but I respect their right to breathe in my vicinity until they prove they’re too obnoxious to be near me. And even then, I still have working feet and the ability to glare with the best of them.

Am I all Oprah about the wonderful blessings in my life? Hell no, I’m from NY. While appreciate the sheer luck the universe bestowed on me in plunking me down where I started, I’ve been driving this machine ever since. I have the responsibility to be happy, be nice, play nice, respect those who deserve, be courteous, and suck it up when crap doesn’t go my way. The flip side of that is to do, create, be fun, make fun, play nice, inspire others, and generally be an asset to the universe. See, look what you created!

So, let’s check the balance sheet – are you an asset or a liability?

Good concert!

Wow, I'm exhausted today, but saw a really fantastic show at the Fair last night. Heart was in concert! I've never seen them before, and figured I should get to it since I'm not sure how often they get to tour. And well, they're, um, getting up there.

We got cheap seats in the grandstand, but got there early enough to get decent seats. We had fun with our fellow fans in the row. The band came out, a bit late as most shows are, and just laid down the groove from note one! Ann Wilson just has the most amazing voice - she nailed it right off the bat, and blew my companion's socks off. I knew we were in for a treat, but it even exceeded my expectations!

They played a bunch of their hits: Alone, Kick it out, Crazy on you, These Dreams, etc. Everyone was dancing and singing along. Ann's birthday was a few days ago, so Nancy Wilson had us all sing happy birthday to her. Very cool! And then, they kicked it into overdrive...

They started playing Zeppelin tunes!

Now, I knew they're friends with what's left of Zeppelin - John Paul Jones plays on at least one of their albums. But towards the end of the show they attacked The Immigrant song and Misty Mountain Hop, and it was just fantastic. Time for my companion's jaw to drop yet again! And this is really the only place where you're gonna hear Zeppelin tunes done by folks who partied with Zeppelin way back when. Ann did justice to Plant's vocals, and the band just rocked out! More singing, more dancing, the crowd went nutso!

Great show, I can't beat the $20 tickets, and good times had by all!

But ugh, time for more coffee my friends! It's gonna be a looooong day, and I have movie tix tonight. Go me!

Flash from the past....

And it's not even Mercury retrograde...

I just got an email from an old high school buddy that I haven't talked to since, well, high school. Very cool to talk to someone who calls me JJ instead of Sammy. Not that I mind Sammy, it's just amusing!

I knew him way back when I first had a distinct clue on who I was, where I was going, and how fabulous it would be once I got there. I totally lost that when I went to college. Maybe it was the shock of starting over, maybe it was the frustration with how crappy my school was, maybe it was just not having friends like him around to remind me of who I was. Regardless, it is good to hear from him. Especially now that I have some of that assurance back, and I've begun to rebuild some of the cool parts that make me me. I've experienced some cool shit, survived my failures with a minimum of open wounds, and cut a lot of the bullshit out of my life. That was a cool thing to realize, as I wrote that response to "what have you been up to?" I am sorely tempted to post that summary here, but most of you know that crap from the horse's mouth, no need to reiterate...

And geez, I'm a character! I just realized what a soap opera my life is and has been. And I even left out some of the more colorful stuff, like the fire play, costumed events other than the SCA, some of my travels, etc.... I certainly didn't go to college, get a boring cubicle job, raise 2.5 kids and a dog, and buy a house. I meandered a bit more along the way. Who wants to meander with me a bit :-)

Ha! Footnote in the Sammy handbook...

I'm not being mysterious, I'm just bored.

That look on my face? That's me imagining all the things I would do to escape this meeting with your ass on a platter to serve up to some good old fashioned lions. Grrr...

Or I'm imagining the various piles of paperwork and crap I could be shoveling off my desk.

Or I could be playing a video game in my mind.

Or something just as scintillating. Oh the rapture....

Back on track

I had a fabulous weekend! Nothing like the county fair and an evening of drunken debauchery to relax one’s soul, eh? Buuut, all good things must come to an end. I’m not completely satisfied with my weight routine, and I was kind of letting myself go a bit on nutrition due to the pain and suffering of the weights. But now that I’m technically established in it, it’s time to get back to eating properly and all that. And hey, what fun is the county fair without fried everything? But I can definitely stop that for a bit. I feel like a whale, deep fried and rolled in sugar and coconut. Not attractive, despite being tasty. Funny part is that I’m still smaller overall, but all these muscles are in the way. Now I just want to be able to see the muscles. I paid for them, I want to see them!

Had my usual entertaining moment on Saturday evening dancing at Dan’s show. Now, I always have a good time dancing at these things. It’s funny with all the drunks, and usually a good crowd. I hadn’t realized how much we’ve come to take over the bar when we go to one of these things, it was really funny! But it still tickles me when random folks tell me they enjoy my dancing. I think of it as doodling most of the time, unless I’m competing or appearing with some really insanely good dancers. At SCA type stuff, I’m taking the time to work out the combos in my head or whatever strikes my fancy at the time. Work on decent facial expressions and not looking like a doofus. Kinda of practice, kind of a performance. I’m not comfortable blowing out the huge, big, look at me moves because it’s a group setting. No reason to run the other girls off the floor. And I have fun playing around with them too. But yeah, it does give me a pleasant surprise to get a compliment, it’s very sweet and I’m glad I’m still entertaining! Jeepers, if you like this, imagine if I dug out the good stuff…. Oh hell, maybe this is the good stuff, and my big, over the top stuff isn’t that great. Ack! Entirely possible I suppose.

Eh, I’d have to care. Dance is one thing I’m comfortable with, I speak my own language, and apparently it’s one that people like “hearing”. I know what my body is saying, how it’s saying it, and how I’m going to get from a-b in a phrase. Sure, I want to learn more parts and techniques and such, but I’m happy getting there in my time. Everyone seems to like the “joy” dance I’ve been working on for a year, and I’m finally starting to feel it. Fake it until you make it apparently does work, and since it’s hard to lie while dancing, I’m good with doing the happy dance. Literally. So, yeah, I’m rambling all over town in this one. Is it time to go back to the gym yet?

Pennsic Battles

Mass Battles - 8 points:
Town Battle
Allied Battle
Woods Battle (2 pts)
Field Battle (2 pts)
Broken Field Battle (2 pts)

Teehee – those are all the main battles we get to be part of at Pennsic. Not counting the special tourneys in the afternoons. I think I need to find the chicks tourney this year :-)

Fight fight fight!

Now, bear in mind that the battles at Pennsic are not the same as we do out here. Last year I had to laugh because Vlad was all ready for a full day of fighting, and the field battle was over in 3 tries. Now, they were shorter than normal due to some really crappy, unbalanced numbers. But the whole thing was over in less than 2 hours. Out here, two hours is a warm up battle :-)

The difference lies in the fighting. Things just move faster from what I remember. Your long res battle is only 90 minutes, not the 2-3 hour monster like we’ve done at Estrella. So units move much more quickly and decisively, charges happen fast, and I felt like I needed to be on my toes a bit more. Kinda like fighting with the Orkneys all the time!

Now, I felt doubly gypped last year because we marched across the field and presented our flank to 3 units just waiting to pounce on us! I was using sword and board and stood against their charge, but I got killed about 47 times due to the fact that I had no room to fall down, and none of them heard my “Good” screamed over and over. Bad game of wack a mole, but I bought time for Vlad to pick a bunch off with a spear. So 30 seconds into the battle, I trudged back to our staging point to wait for the next battle. The unit survived to do well, but me and another guy stood around feeling stupid for getting smoked as soon as the battle started. It was for a good cause, but not as much fun as it could have been.

So this year, I’m fighting with a range of folks. I’ll probably join Caid for a bit, go find my college buddies for some fun, and fight with Erwin’s crew again. We’ll see where I have the most fun, but I’m truly just looking forward to fighting alongside my friends and family from all over the country!

Stolen from Dorinda...

http://www.animepagoda.com/index.php?page=1&act=viewCat&catId=84

Dear God, I didn't know they had Secret Agent Cthulhu..

If you don't know who Cthulhu is, we need to set you up with the "Information Bases for Geeks, Volume 3: the Cult Classics"...

There will be a test :-)

I booked my flight, I booked my flight!

I booked my flight today, woohoo! Got a good deal by going directly through the airline, and flying home that final Friday instead of Saturday. Nice to have two days to recover over the weekend, too. I'll have to remember how to survive in real life again after a week without telephones or real schedules.

God, I can't wait for Pennsic! It's just fantastic! My watch is gone once I get on the plane. I turn off my phone once I'm on site. And I just go from cool thing to do to cool thing to do.... You end up meandering all over the place and just having a rocking good time. I meet a million peole every time I go, too! And I see people I haven't seen in years! It's just a great time, and now that I'm fighting again, it's yet another new experience! And now I've got the endurance to survive a few days of battles instead of taking breaks every other day. Just fun, whole different world, and good times...

Now, off to replenish on fabric and really start cranking out the clothes!

Delicious workout and Soup!

It's just amazing that I actually enjoy the kickboxing course on Wednesdays and Fridays. I usually look like an idiot through the whole thing. I just can't get footwork quickly - it's the single biggest skill I wished I had most of the time in dealing with sports and dance. I have to go through it really slowly, and if I think too hard, I screw it all up in a heartbeat and have to start over. So despite my inability to do half of the steps, my attempts at keeping up are enough to raise my heartbeat enough to keep up the svelteness work. I still have discombobulated moments where I just don't get where the hell we're going. But I pick it up in a few steps usually. And my punches are getting more impressive looking. Grrrrr, I'm fierce!

And then there's soup. Ode to homemade soup! I've been on a soup kick for a few months now, learning to cook a few different kinds of soups. But it seems my favorite is still a potato sausage soup with kale tossed in to cook at the end. It's creamy and sausage-y and has actual vegetable matter in it, and it all just satisfies so nicely! The tomato basil was good too, but I OD rather easily on it since it's kinda rich. I think I need to perfect beef stew next and maybe some chili. Trying to make sure I get enough protein so that my muscle building continues. Although I'd be surprised if it wasn't - my weight hasn't gone down, even while I've dropped a size or two! Apparently I get my own gravity well :-)

Soooo, feeling good despite the rough few weeks I've been having while fighting. Need to bang that damn ding out of my helmet and get back to practice.

Well crappy...

Seems that one vacation has been traded for another. I can't go to West An Tir afterall. It sucks being effective at what I do sometimes. My boss doesn't want the office to be without someone to handle tech support and facilities that weekend, so I'll have to go into the office and check on things. Blah. So no West An Tir for me.

What does that mean? More partying locally! Hooray! Well, maybe I'll finally get to the zoo or Marine Land or some of the 500 other places I haven't been to in SD yet. And I can't say I'm sad about not spending another $200 on a random road trip. All the more to have available for Pennsic.

So my apologies to the other intrepid travellers. I'll unfortunately have to check into work that weekend. But have a great time!

But...

I still went to the gym today and worked out with my trainer...

:-ppppppppppppt!

How's that for resiliance?

No cause for alarm..

So apparently my big blockhead is still good and solid. I got freight-trained at practice yesterday, and bounced off the concrete strip around the shrubbery in the park. I had a lovely moment of peace before everyone jumped on me asking if I was ok. Problem was I was attempting to run a systems check to see if I was ok. So I went with the voices and got out of the way of the fighting and peeled out of my bucket. I'm sitting over on the park bench, wondering if I'm a wuss when I look down at my helmet. It's dented. It used to be circular around the bottom, now it's got a flat part along the back. About where my head bounced off the concrete. Yeah, I've got a concussion, that's why my head's all throbby...

So just for reference's sake, here's what it felt like:

Imagine you have a fuzzy blanket shrouding your thoughts. It's not hard to think, it's just a bit slower. Your brain inside your skull feels like it's been shaken, not stirred, and throbs a bit. Things may not feel like they're sitting right in your skull. Your eyes may hurt from being thrown around in their sockets. You get little pains of headaches to counterpoint the general throbbing. And you get sleepy, despite any amount of caffeine you imbibe. Your pupils can be different sizes too, it's kinda cool. ut ice on the back of your neck, take an anti-inflammatory, and don't fall asleep!

I'm better today, if still a bit slow on the uptake. But I'll live, no need to amputate :-)

Gut says....

Yup, unsigned flowers are always bad news....

If you want me to accept flowers, sign the damn card.

Blerk? Um, err, thank you?

All right.. Whoever sent the flowers - thank you! What a lovely surprise!

Next time, sign the damn card.... Or fess up. How about smoke signals?
I love and hate surprises. And I adore flowers...

Ahh, Garrison Keillor.

For some reason, I find Garrison's response wise. (For those of you who don't have a clue who he is, Garrison Keillor hosts A Prairie Home Companion, a quirky radio show in the old radio variety show tradition. It's very middle America and makes me crave Grandma's cooking every time I listen to it.)

Dear Mr. Keillor,

I attended a screening of the PHC film tonight (as part of the Seattle International Film Festival) and it was a wild success, met with laughter, tears and applause. What a poignant, bittersweet reflection on how everything must end, and all we can do is be there for each other. I went in expecting to just see a movie about a radio show, and came out taking serious stock in how I'm spending (or wasting) my blip of time on this earth. Mr. Altman and yourself have created a gem of a film that is destined to become a classic, and I hope you are proud of this remarkable diamond in your career. Great performances all around as well—not the least of which from yourself! You have a stoic, natural acting ability and wonderful presence on screen, and I hope there's an occasion to see it again in the future. Congratulations and thank you for doing this movie.

Billy D.

Seattle

Glad you enjoyed the flick, Billy D.

You would've enjoyed the New York premiere on Sunday night at the Directors Guild theater on West 57th Street. A red carpet along the sidewalk, lined by thirty photogs and some TV cameras and radio reporters, so you walked from the limo up the line, people yelling at you, "This way! This way! To your right! Down here!" and you try to smile in a stoical way, as your wife clings to you as a branch in the storm, and then you look back and there is Virginia Madsen who is doing a real star turn in a red dress that is as low-cut as New York law permits, and the photographers are going bananas. And Lindsay Lohan behind her, who is similarly decked out, and Meryl Streep, and Kevin Kline. Had I walked up the sidewalk from Sixth Avenue, nobody would've paid any attention. But you walk on the red carpet (which is guarded by a man with a shaved head) and that makes you a star. And afterward the carpet is rolled up and we all become pedestrians ag ain. T hat's the lesson of life. All I can say is, it's different to experience this at the age of 63 than to grow up with it, as Miss Lohan has. So postpone your stardom, I say.

Garrison Keillor

Human Clay

Had another fun dance class last night. It still amazes me that folks keep coming back.

I really do enjoy the teaching parts. It's hard to explain things at times, but that's half the fun of it. I remember my teachers giving a little poke or prod to me to get my posture corrected, a bit more range of movement, or to stop an offending appendage from moving when it shouldn't be.

I've really been blessed by some fantastic dance teachers! Eugenia was my ballet teacher in college. I'd come to those classes with a sketchy knowledge of ballet cobbled together from what classes and training I could get as a kid without a car or parents willing to drive me to class. I started in her Beginning Ballet classes and just loved them. She had a steely grace about her - always soft spoken and calm. Yet she had a full body fitness and strength that illuminated her. She was well into her 60s, yet she had the most beautiful body I'd ever seen. All of 4'10", compact and defined as an artist's model. And she moved like silk over steel. Gorgeous strong arm movements, jumps that felt like she floated. And she would gently propel the class where she wanted it to go. Never demeaning, but she would push you through your frustration. One little touch, a small poke, and your movement would change just enough to work properly. It was wonderful discipline for me at an age where I had no direction, and no clue what a direction would look like if it hit me over the head.

I've had well over a dozen belly dance teachers in my life, but the ones that truly stand out are only two individuals. One was a teacher many, many years ago at Pennsic. I had just gotten dragged up around the fire to dance, the others insisting I could do it. I had no idea what I was doing, I was terrified! Liquid courage propelled me that evening, but the next day I headed off to the belly dance classes that were offered in the hopes of having a clue. One teacher, and I have no idea what her name was, was just gorgeously graceful. She looked Indian, and had obviously taken Indian dance and ballet. Her posture made her look 6' tall, despite her being about my height. She, like Eugenia, moved with grace and ease. I can't even remember what the subject matter was, yet I remember learning a lot in that 1 hour about the differences between a Middle Eastern dancer and a belly bunny. I came away from that class with a goal of how I wanted to look while dancing.

And then there was Ansuya. I'm sure you're all sick of me waxing poetic about Ansuya, but she really made me into the dancer I wanted to be. I came to Ansuya's classes with a friend who just wanted company and thought I'd enjoy them. Boy oh boy was she right. Every Thursday, we would drive over to the Santa Monica YWCA and dance for 3 hours at a time. I'd come out of there sweating and starving. I finally learned turns and facial expressions. I learned how a combination is put together. I learned to be comfortable with wherever my body wants to go and just flow. Whereas the other teachers I mentioned were more the quiet grace sort of dancers, Ansuya's a firecracker! Bam! And she's on the dance floor! I loved that you couldn't look away from whatever she was doing. She had intensity and fire that I could relate to. I love that about her dancing, and I try to bring that to mine. Dance should be visually interesting - that's the point! And she gave me a key to bringing my personality's intensity forward and present it in dancing. Granted, I usually use it to tell visual jokes, but sometimes that's just as surprising as a sharp move.

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, best news I've had all month. I get to go to Pennsic for an entire week! Wheeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All the fighting, partying, dancing, and carousing with my college buddies and east coast family that I can handle! Happy Happy Happy Happy!

The big issue was whether my classes started (as the usually do) the second week of Pennsic. Since I really can't miss class, it usually means I have to fly home in the middle of the second week and jump right into classes. NOT THIS YEAR! Wheee! Classes don't start until the 23rd, Pennsic ends the 18th, it's sooooo good to be me!

And my bestest friend in the whole wide freaking world will be there and a boatload of other friends I rarely get to see and I'll have time to fight with everyone I adore... teehee, I'm babbling! Damn, this is good news. There is nothing worse in this world than leaving Pennsic, knowing the fighting and partying is still going on without you!

And since I'm finally full time, I can take off a full week and get paid for it and everything! No major hit to the financials this year.

Oh life is good! Oh yeah!

Shit - I need to go sew!

Online gaming

Hmm, it's been suggested (gee, thanks Makoto) that I should try online gaming as a way to fill some of my copious free time at the moment. Sure, and I'll try crack too, while I'm at it :-)

Actually I have tried online games. For the most part, I'm just not into it. I'll play Starcraft online with friends if I know they're online, but when it comes to connecting with actual strangers, I never meet anyone. Perhaps it's the way I play video games, but I rarely actually talk to anyone I don't know online. And I really don't get how you're supposed to interact with random people you don't know while doing 47 other things in the game. And if I want to stand around and talk, I'd rather go have a few drinks with friends, in person, at the local watering hole. I'm big on human contact. Rare thing these days, it seems. I even dislike calling folks on the phone. Email's my one exception to the personal contact rule, and based on miscommunications I've had even with email, it's still not as good as talking to someone in person.

And I like playing video games in a group setting. My Xbox has had some great evenings of a few of us playing Gauntlet or some other schlock and just having a ball. We yell at each other, curse, crack jokes, yadda yadda and generally have a good time. And there's nothing more fun than taking on a challenge. Sure, I could beat the computer, but I'd rather hear your lamentations as I thrash your butt in Mechwarrior's Gladiator setting :-) These precious moments cannot be had in the same way online, my friends...

So, no. I really don't want to create any addictions while I'm out of school for the summer, and luckily this is one of them that I don't find satisfying. I don't get nearly enough human contact on a daily basis to then go home and hide behind a computer screen all night. Sure, I'm the HR lady, but like many other folks, I can have days primarily spent creating paper at a computer all day long. So actually talking to people and interacting is a good thing. Having friends whom you've actually met in person is a good thing. Having friends mad at you because you thrashed them while drunk at a game you've never played before is, um, priceless :-) Not that I've ever done that, no, I'm not a gamer grrrrrl at all...

Finding my way (cue proper Rush tune)

So, I'm beginning to realize how little I actually get about myself lately. I've been spending a lot of time running around, having fun, travelling, blah blah blah. Generally filling my time and not spending a lot of time just dealing with my crap. Hence the nasty results this semester in school. And hence the complete frustration in a lot of little things lately. Blerk, as my cat would say...

Well, now that the thought of law stuff no longer makes me nauseous and bitter, I'm starting to plan some research that may begin the process of writing a few articles on water rights and similar topics. I need to do something law related, and frankly, I won't have time for much more than writing on top of my normal work. And now that I have a real job, I'll be able to get rid of all the other stupid part time jobs. Blerk.

I should have a funeral for my love life. It's well and truly dead. The people I'm interested in are generally not interested in me, and other people are just damn confusing. Hot, cold, hot, cold. If I were wool, I'd have felted by now... And if I'm not interested, it's not going to help to keep throwing yourself bodily at me. Really. Go read David DeAngelo's site and get his program (www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com). Although I hate to admit this, it would totally work on me if I were even vaguely attracted to you. Sad to admit, but yeah. Of course, everything has its limits, and since I already know the ins and outs of that program, there's the whole question of whether it truly would work on me... ack, hell I don't know anything anymore. San Diego - land of the love drought. I think I need to move away just on this point. I have nooo problems with guys being afraid of me when I travel. Heck, I need a large stick, someone to schedule the flirting opportunities, and bouncers to keep them in line. So what the hell is up with San Diego? Pardon me while I go beat my head against the wall for a while. If this sort of thing hadn’t been such a huge part of my life in the past, I probably wouldn’t miss it so much. While I’m learning to enjoy being single, there are limits to how much I can really enjoy fishing around for someone to go to stuff with me. Blerk.

Well, me and my unknown self are scheduling a few walkabouts to go spend time alone yet again. Get to know each other. Remind me to send flowers and chocolate :-) Blerk…

Ugh

Note to self:

Get more sleep.

Ooops, I forgot something important....

Sherief fought for me again and made it to the 8th? round????

Damn, he's good :-)

oh yeah....

Question: What's long and hard on an Orkney?

Answer: Court...

So I survived Coronation and QC this weekend, and managed to have fun. I chased his Highness Eric around all weekend with drinks, and managed not to kill him when he hit my nerves wrong. Apparently he's more in danger than most when my blood sugar is low. We had some interesting moments while on the freeway at high speeds with him whistling "Feliz Navidad". Luckily, not inter-Kingdom incidents to report, all is well!

I'm not terribly big on Coronation. It's interesting to the little girl in me that loves pageantry and parades for abot an hour, then I'm ready for a nap and lunch. But is was cool to see Sven and Kitty (ahem) Kolfinna step up. Huge guard, big court, big cheers! Nice to see northern folks on the thrones. Us sounthies need a break for a bit ;-)

Queen's Champion was even more fun, despite Mother Nature's attempts at re-creating the humid South in Southern CA. It was hot! It was humid! But big, fun tourney and lots of good folks running around. I am utterly thrilled to report that my friend adored her fencing jacket and I can happily take that project off of my pending list. A few humdred more projects to go and it'll be an empty list. Yeah, right...

Moments...

Have I mentioned lately that I love my office?

Walking back from lunch on a freaking gorgeous summer day in SD, I saw one of the exchange girls from my office walkig towards me. I smiled and was about to say hello when she said, "Oh hi, I was just thinking what a pretty girl you were, and I realized it was you!" Yeah, this doesn't suck at all :-)

And there's a movie out this weekend I've been thinking about since I heard it was being made. Way of the Peaceful Warrior is based on the Dan Millman books. Kinda self help, kinda just about awareness, it could be absolute schlock. But I loved the books, and from all accounts, Dan Millman is a great guy. It was an interesting story to read. I'll go see it, but I'm really hoping it's good. I'll let you know, but I'll probably go see it the way some folks hide cookies in their bedroom drawers :-) Quiet and stealthy-like.. This way if it sucks, I haven't inflicted the pain on anyone else.

Spontinaiteeeeeeee

Hmm, just saw an email from one of my fun groups on Yahoo offering a last minute rafting trip spot. Small flight in a Cessna, pack a few light things, and meet 3 strangers for a weekend rafting. Kinda sounded like fun if I had the $$. It was a bit more than I have on hand at the moment.

But it did get me thinking... I plan too much. I think I need more spontaneous weekends. Granted, there have been a number of really cool planned events lately, like Gulenay's Laurelling and Mother's Day with my sis. But I think I'm going to resist the urge to book those open weekends in June and see where the universe takes me. Granted, normally when I do that, no one calls me to do stuff because they're so used to me being out of town or just damn busy. But I wouldn't mind a weekend lounging around the house, getting little stuff done, maybe a trip to the beach.

Heck, when I was dating a certain person in LA, we'd have spontaneous crap happen all the time. We didn't plan much (hell, with him I couldn't plan anything because he just wasn't sure about anything in his universe), so it did teach me to go with the flow more and just find cool things to do right in front of us. I think I actually did more cool stuff with him than anyone else.

But that relationship ended, and part of me misses the whole partner in crime aspect of it. We had a ball just trying to find cool shit to do on a Saturday afternoon with a full tank of gas and a bit of money. Or we'd run out to a cool restuarant, buy a pile of interesting looking food, and go exploring. Maybe hiking, maybe finding someplace cool, maybe just driving until we saw something interesting. And all of it comes with the "if a tree falls in the forest" problem - if you find something cool by yourself, is it as cool as having someone there to witness it and share in the amusement?

I think I'm going to have to go find out. Oh hell, this sounds like a pilot for a reality show. Single girl, will travel :-)

The last painful stitches.

There's this fencing jacket I've been working on for almost 2 years now. Yup, 2 years. I rarely take this long to work on one project like this, and the time span has just killed me. I want nothing more than to finish this thing, and I'm on the last bits of hand finishing to get the layers to sit properly.

Why 2 years? Because it is a fencing jacket. In their infinite wisdom, the SCA's standards for fencing jackets are more stringent than for heavy fighting, IMHO. Getting 3-4 layers of heavy fabric to line up and stay neat is a royal pain in the ass! And I always felt like I was in a snowsuit when wearing one of those things until I made my suede fencing jacket. A leather jacket is by far the way to go unless you're worried about bruising. Much lighter, and not as much bunching around the armpit, where they've required an additional 7 million layers as if your arteries are on the outside of your skin...

Yes, I'm being sarcastic. In my 6-7 years of fencing heavily, I had multiple blades broken on me. Not once did I get more than a scratch. Luck? Not entirely. Most folks had enough self control to break off the pressure once they realized what happened. What is it - something like 9 lbs of pressure just to break the skin? While that's easier to do the smaller the point involved, I never had it happen, despite doing many stuuupid things. So fencers basically suit up in our fantastic weather and trundle around in snowsuits to fence. I was tempted to put in an air conditioner. She probably would thank me for it!

And the jacket has some lovely couched thread work and cool trim and such. So while it's a lovely jacket, I'm rather happy to see it off my project list. So a few more stitches, and voila! It's, please God let it fit properly, done!

My work here is done...

Got a note from a friend who was at Potrero last night. I had wanted to drop by and say hi, but with my back feeling the way it was, a long trek was across the street to Drafn, much less a ramble across the park to look for him and the rest of my AZ buds.

But I had to laugh because he gave me a funny sort of compliment. He was in the redoubt battle and saw me. He was surprised because he'd forgotten I was a fighter. Apparently this was enough to distract him for Kevin to kill him with a spear shot. Teehee!

Now I know why the Orkneys recruited me. I'm bait! Distraction! Subterfuge!

Bwahahahaha! Thanks Mogy!