Penguin girl

Feeling pretty ridiculous today...

Two days ago I had a great workout in the gym. Second time since Pennsic, lots of reps, feeling pretty good, just the usual soreness, right?

How about no? Two days later I can barely walk. Most of me is fine, but apparently the squats and lunges were way too much for my quads. Everything is fine, except when I bend my legs, sit, walk on stairs, etc. Anything that involves my quads contracting brings a lovely bout of burning pain. Yup, I did a number on myself.

So I'm toddling around my universe like an oversized penguin. Ever tried walking without bending your legs? It gets comical rapidly. I hate picking things up, and I'm certainly not walking up any more stairs today. Using a spear this weekend should be entertaining. I think this is the universe telling me not to take my body for granted, eh?

Not too terrible

First week of classes down, not too bad thus far. This whole taking a class during the day thing is pretty cool! It's vastly better than being there after work every night of the week, then sitting down to some nice tasty homework all night. Oh boy! Instead, that time normally spent in class is spent doing homework. Definitely better time management. Thank goodness my boss has been through this and gets how hard it is.

So, a little summary of my schedule - Maestro, theme music if you please? Something upbeat, but not perky...

Land Use Planning - ie. bureaucratic ways the government and your neighbors can tell you how to use your land. It's a reality, folks. And I find it rather entertaining. Professor sounds like an older Sinatra, if you listen to Sinatra's monologues on his recordings. And Peggy and I get to sit and ping off each other all through class like schoolgirls :-)

Administrative Law - ie. bureaucracy defined. Actually I find this class entertaining as well. i think I'm doomed to like a life of pushing paper back and forth with the same official for the rest of my life. And the concept doesn't scare me. Getting paperwork done, especially with the gov't, makes me feel like I accomplished something hard. And I've already saved the world, lit myself on fire, yadda yadda. No burning desire to save the world or express myself. I'm into establishing a life soemtime soon, and it's just about me.

Evidence - ie. pain and required suffering. At least the professor is interesting. Unfortunately I don't think he speaks English. Or Evidence is in Swahili. Haven't figured it out yet, but I spend a lot of time in class thus far with a perplexed look on my face. Luckily I do the homework, so eventually I do usually get it. But I need a roadmap, a guide, and a sherpa for all the books. Ugh...

Off to my day class - wheee!

And then there's the sleeping thing.

Hey, Universe - it's me again!

Yeah, I know I got more sleep at Pennsic than I have in a while. Yes, I know I haven't had a steady sleep pattern for months. I'm just asking for a bit of pity here...

I'd really like to actually get a night worth of sleep, especially when I set the time aside, hit the sack early, breathe deeply, all that. However, this situation lately is not funny...

Yes, I know, I watched Freddy v. Jason earlier in the afternoon. And I know I later watched that program on the hurricane that hit NY in the 30s(yes, I'm that person. I like reality to actually be present in my reality TV.) Sure, it made for interesting dreams about Freddy and Jason in a rowboat off Long Island in heavy swells.

But it was not cool to be awake at 4am last night unable to breathe. Allergies? Why the hell do I have allergies now? What, Pennsic wasn't dusty and pollen-y enough? No allergies there, what gives?

I know, I know, I have an appointment this week for the doctor to replace my inhaler. But in the meantime, sleep? Please? Thanks!

Pennsic Parties, and then some...

They were lame, like a 3 legged dog. Most nights I wandered around with friends or limped back to camp by midnight. There wasn't that "gee, I don't know you, let's be friends" camraderie from years past that I remember. Granted, last year I had Hurricane Shaia to party with. Very little compares... And I had to miss Isabella's Girls Night Out party on friday - big fat pout!

But I did see college friends, including some I haven't seen in over a decade! They had one party called the "Trial by Fryer" where they fried up every sort of food you could plunge into hot oil. Pity it's PA at dusk, and the dew eliminates cripsy in mere moments. But entertaining, even if I decided to spare my gall bladder the work. But I did come in 3rd in the evening's poker game. And I met a few friends' significant others they recently married.

Not a big year for me to be drinking either. While I had a great time wandering around with the Caid party as a Pirate Catholic schoolgirl, that 1/2 mile walk back to my bed was pretty sobering. And I wasn't keen on being the wandering drunken pirate schoolgirl late at night. Safety first! And Mel and I seemed to just be happy mellow tipsy girls for the most part. It was fun to just hang out and talk for crying out loud...

So yeah, I did have a wonderful time. It was nice to stealth Pennsic the way I like to - see lots of people, fight in the good battles, see the parties, not get too nasty sick, and relax relax relax.

Just damn busy - and the Castle battle continues..

Whew! Busy week! This whole school thing is killer!

So, the Castle Battle... We lined up outside near one of the bridges on the approach to the castle. We were facing Calontir on our bridge, so we went over and said a merry hello before the battle. There was joking and fun, and then the marshalls called hats and bats, and we were off. We lined up, all ready for a charge or advance or something. But no, nothing. They decided to pick us off with artillary and archers first, Grrr.... I'm definitely becoming an Orkney. I had a fantastic shieldwoman who blocked tons of arrows for me, and we all screamed "Ballista!" when one came flying our way. We shared a chuckle as we started the battle and I noticed something rather novel. For once, I could see over the shield wall! I mentioned this, we laughed. But that was the last one for a bit. We valiantly tried to hang on for as long as possible, but the archers and artillery just whittled us down. I took an arrow to the grill and trudged inside to res.

On the inside of the castle, we all regrouped after we resurrected. The unit reformed near the front gates. We had Caid and the West with us, as well as the Tuchucks. Ragnesfolke had their ballista inside as well. Nothing like a ballista in your castle! Eventually the attackers got up to the doors, and the doors were knocked open in the "we're breaking your gate down" ritual created for when you actually have a real, honest to god gate. The attackers started attempting to break through the doorway area. So they charged and they speared and they pushed our lines again and again. But no purchase, we kept them at the doorway. Unfortunately their archers and ballistas could still fire over the castle walls at us (we're talking 6' castle walls in some areas, not a huge feat). Many of us lost the day to an archer or artillary yet again, which stunk. I lost an arm to an arrow, but I truly didn't want to leave the field. So I attempted the one arm spearing thingie. I've done it a few times before, but never with a line in front of me. With apologies to the shieldwomen for resting the spear basically on their shields, I attempted what I could. Finally HRM Kolfinna suggests I try spearing down on the attackers from the walkway over the door. So I ambled over to the walkway, checked with the marshall that it was cool, and gave it a try.

I felt like I was poking fish in a barrel! Wheee! Now, we're not talking huge amounts of control here, but if I can distract them from above, then it's one less spear firing at our line. I'll take that. I have no clue if I actually killed anyone - half the time they didn't see my spear coming. But I know I tied a few folks up who tried to tie my spear up. One guy had a smiley face on his spear tip. Never saw the guy, just his spear tip. But I had him tied up blocking my spear.

Eventually the ballistas got into the act. The attackers started wreaking havoc on us by firing through the door. But then Wolfstan from Ragnesfolke (yes, they're the folks I used to camp with) brought his ballista closer in and started firing back at the attackers. Amusing, but I was glad when eventually this ended. We went back to repelling their charges. Our side door got a bit heated, so 1/2 the Tuchucks went to reinforce the door forces.

But then, I heard the Marshalls talking. They were wondering why we weren't sallying forth against the attackers? So I peeked through the crack in the wall and took stock of who was left. Hey, we were winning! There weren't that many left over there! I hollared this info down to our forces, and after a minute, they charged through and cleaned off our front lawn. It was a happy day for us, and nice to win an entertaining battle. While I'm not fond of the one arm spear thing, it worked well enough to keep me in the battle. And the poking from above thing was brilliance because it was probably annoying the hell out of the shieldmen to have my drunken one arm spear technique all over their shields...

So yeah, definitely one of the more entertaining battles for me. I was pretty much comic relief the whole time, but then, what's new?

And then some more...

And the Castle Battle (aka. the Battle for Castle Anthrax):

And then there was Wednesday.... Wednesday's big battle was not a war point, and the Allied Champions Battle just isn't for everyone, so obviously a lot of people slept in. I was all bright and sparky on the field, early because we were supposed to meet up with HRH of Aethelmarc who invited the women fighters to fight as one for the castle battle. So my intrepid friend from camp with the pink fuzzy shield and I tromped over to the battle field to find no one there. Nada. And no muster point setup yet. So we got comfy and waited. Eventually we found her Highness and all was well. Also got to finally fight with HRM of Caid and the rest of the Caid folks!

We had the joy of defending the castle fromt he attackers. Now, it's a pretty decent castle front. A real gate, towers, side gates - it's kinda of a flat U-shaped set piece. Totally indefensible in real war, but for scenarios it rocks! We started outside, with a res as we passed inside after we died. The attackers got no res, but outnumbered us...

The actual battle later...

And more Pennsic...

So, Pennsic fighting. I must say, we're horridly spoiled out here. Regular brigade paractices, lots of quality time on the spear lines, a general acceptance of the uses of working together as an actual military unit. East coast and Central US are mostly a bunch of cowboys. Sure, there are exceptions to this, but generally, cowboys. They run around and pummel what they can find, barely hold a line and prefer to think of how many kills they get as opposed to actually winning the scenario.

The Town Battle (aka. How to get killed by Seige over and over and over again):
Well, I'm sure they thought it looked like a town. Unfortunately the scattering of haybales with colored tape strung between them was soon trashed into oblivion. The tape was supposed to be walls and water, but within a few minutes of start, it just didn't work anymore. Tape is kinda hard to see when you're busy trying to kill. And I did try to kill. But the general meat grinder that was our objective (ie. Hold the dock area) was more about lumping the dead bodies higher and higher and fighting over them until the marshalls called to clear them than anything else. It was a res battle, I think an hour long.

I did a lot of trudging back and forth until Asa pointed out that Easties don't lunge when they throw spear shots.. Hmm, hard to when you can barely see over the line, but good point. Sure enough, next time I stepped up to the line, they stood and threw like they had their spear up their butts. Good to know... But unfortunately the constant barrage of seige weapons, especially Shadow Clan's ballistas (we had 4 of them 10 feet from our position for the entire scenario, howdy neighbors!) finally just got annoying. We held that area, but I basically got killed by getting shot in the ass by a ballista. Ow. Triple Ow. My hamstrings were not amused...

But yeah, that was it. One battle. Heck, I was just getting warmed up!

Woods Battle (aka. Res points should not be uphill both ways):
Now this was a fun set of battles. Not only were there two, hour long res battles, but they're in real, honest to god woods. Trees, underbrush, sticks, mud - the whole shebang. And no chance of getting shot in the butt by seige. It's chaos in my opinion. I don't know the layout of the woods very well, but the objectives incoude 5 flags - two on each side and a mobile flag. Objective is capture more flags than your opponent. We marched in and started establishing our lines. Basically the whole battle was pushing back and forth through a mass of trees as if we all needed a good scrubbing. I hit my stride and just gacked the hell out of people all day. I was terribly amused when I was told once that I hit too hard. Apparently the standards are much different for face shots back east. So I tapped even more people on the face and they took it all day. Nice!

The res point for the first battle wasn't too bad - back up and over where we came from. But the second battle it involved heading up a ridge then down a somewhat steeper hill. You'd stop, get water, maybe pop your top and have to climb back up hill. If they ploy was to tire us out, it worked. I had to stop again after marching back uphill to catch my breath or I was pretty useless once I hit the line. So there was a lot of standing around waiting for the heart rate. And I wasn't terribly fond of the random guys who would stomp into the res point and yell at everyone to get back into battle if they were able. Sure you can inspire me with a speech, but I get a bit testy when tired and being yelled at. Lizard brain isn't amused...

But I got to finish the day playing with the Spartans and gacking Tuchucks through the trees. Sir Balin complemented my spear work - thanks Balin! I was tired, but satisfied when I was done.

More later....

Ahh Pennsic, such a complex experience~

So, I'm back. My laundry is almost done, my desk is shoveled off at work, I'm almost done with my homework for the week.

All I have to say is wow, crazy ass trip. I learned a lot about myself on this one. It turned out to be a kind of walkabout this year. Since it was just me visiting, I was social, yet had no one else connected to my schedule. It was terrifying and freeing all at once. I relaxed, I fought, I partied, I watched shooting stars, I shopped, I marvelled at the differences in the SCA, and I bemoaned the losses of experiences of years past.

There's more, but it's 5pm, and I'm outta here!

I'm soooo outta here!

Ok, enthusiasm restored, thanks to a dose of sexy man helping me out and such last night. He's such a joy. ...

I attempted to get to see Makoto's Soo Bak Do tourney fights today, but alas, I had to leave before he fought. Or something. What I did see was cool to watch(forms and choreo sparring), but you run a definite handicap knowing people through the SCA and not necessarily knowing their last names and other pertinent info. It wasn't that big, so I don't think I missed it. But I did have that amusing moment of "oh crap, what IS Koto's last name?" Fabulous, my geekdom is interfering with reality...

Wheeee! I'm off to see the Melissa! And the Molly! And the Irwin! And 10,000 of my other closest friends.. Right after I survive the red eye flight and 2 airports. Lovely...

If I don't survive the flight, know that I adore you all, and life is pretty damn good. And this just means that I won't have Evidence homework all winter long :-) See, silver lining I tell ya.

I'm off to enjoy one last shower, a real meal, and the last of the packing...

As I wander off to Pennsic, I leave you with Charlie Chaplin...

The Great Dictator - written by Sir Charles Chaplin

The Jewish Barber: I'm sorry but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black men, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each others' happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls; has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge as made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these things cries out for the goodness in man; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all. Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say "Do not despair." The misery that has come upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

(In a passionate raging voice now)Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to these brutes who despise you, enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle and use you as cannon fodder! Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men---machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are men! With the love of humanity in your hearts! Don't hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural. Soldiers! Don't fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it is written that the kingdom of God is within man, not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfil that promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to the happiness of us all. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us unite!

Tactical Packing Adjustments

I would just ilke to say a big fat thank you to all the nutjobs, terrorists, extremists, stupid joking idiots of the world who make packing for any flight into a comedy of grotesque proportions.

I was all ready, yes indeedy I was. Everything fit, I was under the weight limit as long as my scale was correct, and I had a plan for the last remaining bits of things to go in. And then, they thankfully caught a bunch of idiots in Great Britian.

Now, let's be clear. I'm glad they caught them. I truly am. Having worked on those crappy ass cases, I know what a wonder it is when you can actually make an arrest. But I pity any poor fool who actually thinks he can hijack a plane this weekend anywhere in America. Not sure about other countires, but I do know that for the next week or so, American based flights are bad places for terrorists. Not only can I not take my usual water on the plane, but I also can't keep my shampoo from exploding, bring eyedrops for when my eyes crust over on the red eye, nor bring home any delightful, liquid goodies from the East Coast without risking their integrity with the baggage handlers.

Why is this significant? Can't my pampered American ass handle a liquid-less environment for a few hours? In a word, No. Not only am I miserable without those tiny amenities, but I will likely have to wait in line for an extra 3-4 hours for the joy of dehydrating at 30,000 feet. And not only that, but the bastards have already taken my ability to sew, knit, crochet, and embroider on planes, thanks to the ban on sharp pointy objects. Yes, I know they've given in a tiny bit, but I still marvel at the concept of threatening someone with those tiny sewing scissors. They should get their own martial art developed around delivering tiny incisions and dealing maximum damage.. But I digress into dreams of obliterating those who make travelling quickly a nightmare. Next they'll limit the size and weight of the books and magazines you can take aboard - you might threaten someone with a paper cut!

So imagine with me, a flight not only of sight and sound, but of mind. The only limit to the ways of expressing your frustration is through your own imagination. Cross over with me into.... The Sammy Travel Twilight Zone (cue dramatic music here). I pity the fool who attempts to hijack my red eye flight. Not only do I hate red eyes, but I'm also cranky when woken before my time. Combine the two with the entertaining crap in my luggage, and you start to get a glimmer of my mind set should anything happen. While my books and clothes may not sound terribly dangerous, I think I could put up a wicked fight with a sari and a law book. Imagine me in the aisle of an airplane telling my fellow passengers to duck, twirling my wrapped treatise on land use over my head, while I clobber some fool into the next time zone. Now this, my friends, is why you work out!

So yeah, if you hear something entertaining on the news, pray it's not me. I'm definitely hoping for an uneventful trip!

Before I forget again in my fighter jock madness...

I'm in the throes of making a gorgeous tunic. Applique, paint bits, sewing, natural fibers, etc. It's going to be fancy schmancy....I'm not giving more details, but you'll know it when you see it.

Made a delicious ME outfit for E, it fit her like a glove and is shiiiiiiineeeeeyyyyy.... All green and gold and red with red silk dupioni pants. It would look like she was attacked by the circus unless done correctly. She's tiny, so it actually looks pretty adorable.

Brown chocolate chenille ghawazee didn't sell on eBay, the cheap gits. I might have to keep it or sell at Potrero. Shucky darn...

I's skirt is done, despite many efforts by the fabric to shred itself. Note to self, sari's are gorgeous, but require high maintenance to do anything other than drape with them. Ack...But she's got a flowy blue and silver skirt to die for. Now to wrestle the rest of the sari to become a coat, this should be entertaining. If there's a puff of silver and teal to the south-ish, it's me, finally beating the fabric into submission.

Overwhelmed!

So it's my, what?, 7th time to Pennsic, and I still get overwhelmed by looking at the schedule!!!

Just dug out the battlefield and class schedules, and by all that is party-like, there's a buttload of stuff to do, and that's not counting all the running arround and saying hello!

So it looks like I'll be fighting most days afterall, depending on how I'm holding up physically. I even found out that I just barely qualify as a Dwarf for the Dwarves v. Giants tourney :-) Everything looks like a ton of fun, and should be a blast. It'll be a nice send off for my crappy helmet as I scrape up the last of the cash to finally get a newer one. More eBay! More sewing stuff for people! Put more padding in the helmet in the meantime, it'll survive a bit longer..

So, technically I could fight about 6-8 hours per day most days, then dance all night and roam around partying. And that's not counting squeezing a class on "Medieval mustards" if I get the hankering to do so. I get the feeling I'm going to crave sitting down a lot :-)

And I'm packed. Thank goodness for hockey duffels! Nothing is tightly packed, so if it's somehow bigger on the way back, I should be fine. I think I packed about half of my garb. That's an achievement, considering I have something like 10 saris, 20 or so pieces of Middle Eastern, and a smattering of other bits and pieces. And I'll probably need it all. Now where is that damn pale green choli?! I think I need to make more cholis....

I'd better fly out soon before I cram more crap in my bags...

Heroes!

I was furiously pedaling along at the gym, reading a chick magazine when suddenly I read something terribly interesting. Someone famous (lord help me if I can remember who) said something like “Be your own hero in your life”. I continued pedaling and pondered that thought. It’s a pretty interesting one, and I kind of had an Ah-ha! moment with it. That’s kind of what I’ve been going for lately.

Now, believe me, I’m not really going to run around and save kittens, walk grandma’s across the street, and wear spandex tights. But there’s something to be said for saving yourself and doing bold things in your own universe. For some folks, that’s wearing a new color. For others, it’s jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. But there’s that rush of “I did it!” that’s so fantastic to have in your universe, why wouldn’t you strive to do it every day?

Well, because we’re human. We’re mediocre in our desire to relax, eat, sleep, procreate, etc. It takes conscious thought to not do what we always do and strive for something difficult, unique or remarkable in our universe. I find it humorous that most folks(including me) can go on and on about how they really need to relax, yet never spend any time figuring out what exactly it is that makes them relax. I had to do it – I had no idea how to relax. I’m still learning. It’s a life habit, like eating sensibly. Most of us can’t just sit there and automatically relax. We’re not wired for it. We’re used to being hunted by predators, like paying bills, loneliness, and large toothy woodland critters. Hooray for monkeydom! But I digress. The point of this paragraph – it’s hard to be anything more than the spanky monkeys we usually are. You might be a spanky monkey with a nice car, good job, and gorgeous mate. But you’re still a spanky monkey, hiding out from the predators of life and moseying along on the exercise bike.

Ahhh, but to be truly remarkable, both to yourself and others. How does that work? Well, it depends on who sets the bar. If you’re someone else’s hero, you have to spend the time figuring out what their standards are and living up to them. Or you can be your own hero and define your own hero-dom. Are you a hero because you didn’t devour the refrigerator? Got an A in calculus? Saved up for a trip to Uzbekistan? Learned to ride a camel? Sat and meditated? Wrote a book? Big and small, each thing could be a huge achievement.

But don’t heroes have goals? Villains to beat down? Spandex to proudly model? Sure, there’s that mediocrity again. You could give up, slap yourself back down on the couch, and watch other folks pretend like reality TV has anything to do with reality. Sure, you could spend your precious time “doing nothing”. I do it too, sometimes it’s what you need. But is that who you are? Therein lies the rub. If you are what you say and do and eat, what are you saying and doing and eating? If that’s the question, then I’m an overscheduled goofball who tries to be encouraging but sticks her foot in her mouth at times, works out and studies a lot, and eats lots of vegetables, hamburgers, and cheese. Not exactly hero quality yet. Sure I stand up at times, but I get beaten down just as much. I guess the hero-dom comes in the getting back up, going back to the gym, and getting back into class to finish this damn degree for me. Oh, and looking terribly sexy. That’s a nice side benefit to the gym. Hooray!
Or I could be a future attorney in real estate law with a tremendous background in 5 industries, a reputation for kicking ass and solving problems, excellent customer service, and a penchant for creative solutions. I’m a fire breathing, belly dancing future barrister with a sexy smart man in my life, a close knit family, tons of good people as my friends and an ability to have fun wherever I go. So there, I’m a hero!

Ahhh Monday- I think I'm underwater

Hmm, weird feeling today. Just can't wake up, and I've been feeling it for the past few days. Sure, I still head to the gym and walk or run, lift some weights, etc. I drink coffee, get at least 7 hours of sleep, and no dice. I'm sleepy sleepy sleepy!

Now, I know part of it is just stress - my parents, bless them, still stress me out when they visit. It's nice to see them, but they drive me nuts. It's easier when I get to visit them at my sister's house, but that doesn't always happen. So that could be part of it. And I'm still having "not prepared for Pennsic" dreams. Had one last night that I had forgotten one big duffle of stuff. It was amusing, because I packed one duffel over the weekend, and I have the rest of my crap piled on the other big bag, just waiting to get packed. But the airplane pilot was nice and told me to run home and get the bag, he would wait for me in the plane! Sheesh, I have crazy ass dreams sometimes. I can't wait for Pennsic, but I think I'm packing the other bag when I go home tonight, just so I can stop these dreams from happening!

So yeah, maybe I just need to wrap up the last of the stuff or Pennsic as early as possible so I can just enjoy my last week at home of freedom. Classes start right after I get back. Blah...

So, as I was saying....

Well, now that my boss's computer is in the land of broken toys, and the technicians with more knowledge than I are attempting to resuscitate it's broken husk, I have a spot of time...

So, my litany of things to think about involves the following:

• I do too much.
• I try to do even more.
• Multitasking should not be a lifestyle.
• Juggling while multitasking isn't either.
• Normal people consider a job stressful, much less a job and school and becoming debt free in 2 years. And I cannot consider myself in the normal people category. I'm not allowed :-)
• I'm apparently stresed out, although not as much as I technically should be. I'm a marvel of efficiency and coping skills.
• I need to spend more time doing nothing at all, apparently.
• There's a reason it drives people nuts when I can't just sit and watch a movie.
• It's all my mother's fault.
• Apparently I cope really well until the bucket is full. When it is full, I need to stop and empty the damn thing. Apparently school fills it up doubly quick. Better to empty it more often.
• I am vastly more relaxed about controlling my world, but I still have a ways to go.
• Bullet point lists are for type-A personalities. I have become one of them. Even more so if I also do an Excel spreadsheet analysis with graphs.
• I need to breathe more.
• I need to keep working out and bashing things with rattan.
• I need to get the hell out of school as fast as intellectually possible.
• I'm pretty fucking awesome, and some law firm is going to adore me. And pay me money to match when they realize all the things I can do.
• I am truly happy with my universe. It's pretty spiffy.
• I need to be kinder to myself. I'm a thirty something, uncoordinated goofball with a history of not exercising terribly much. I can't do everything, be everything, or be good at everything. I'll just have to deal with being as I am.

So yeah. I'm ok, you're ok. I just need to make sure I go to Pennsic, relax and unplug for a week. Sleep, fight, dance, drink, and take a real, actual vacation from the universe before I dive in. And I'll be ok. Everything will be just fine.

Revelation, well duh!

Ok, so I went and got my head back down to a relevantly normal size about school last night. For those who don't get it, I went to a shrink for my little panic episode at the career counselor.
The shrink was nice, and had a few good suggestions for my toolkit on dealing with the universe, especially law school.

But she kind of, gently kicked me in the head about a few things. I think I shall share them with you now. Imagine me strumming a guitar as we go through them. Feel free to shout Kumbaya if you feel the need. Ready kids?

Oh, but wait. My boss's harddrive just completely committed suicide. Blue screen of death, you have interrupted my creative process! Prepare to die!

I'll be back...

I Heart the Banterist...

He just summed up most of California in the most recent post about a party. Right down to the overcrowding and people pushing and shoving to get by.

And I'm not sure he even realizes his brilliance...

Enjoy!

http://www.banterist.com/

Whoah Sparky! Time to slow down?

Ok, it's official. I'm tired. Had some rest this weekend, but I have another action packed week ahead that I'm not feeling ready for. And, frankly, I feel like crap today. I feel bad about this in a way, but after the 47th time someone has asked me how I feel, I just get sick of saying "fine, thanks". I'm not terribly fine, but I'll survive and get home to relax and recoup. But in the meantime, I know I look like hell slightly warmed over, thanks for asking. And I don't want to be pissy, I truly don't. I just want to get through the mountain of paper on my desk, get everything done that needed to happen yesterday and just move on and go home and relax tonight. I'm so swamped that I don't even want to eat lunch or take a break.

I'm kind of wondering if I packed too much into these last few weeks before classes. I think I need to cancel the dance class I'm teaching indefinitely. Frankly, I just don't have the energy to do this right, and school comes first. Period. If you want to pay me $500 per class, I might change my mind. But otherwise, it's study time now. And I'm feeling a bit pulled and pushed around by the students. I do understand that they enjoy it and are learning. But while I enjoy the class while I'm doing it, I dread giving up that chunk of time each week during classes. Just too much demand on my fragile head to handle during school. Any added stress is just too much, and I'm not getting the benefit out of it that I was hoping too. Fun, yes. But it's not relaxing for me. I love to teach, but I don't think I can handle it. And it screws up my priority list for school to be first. It's really the only weight on my time that's not flexible and understanding. So, fun while it lasted, but it's over for now.

All in all, though I did have a lovely weekend. Got a chance to rest up since I didn't bother with war, and sold a pile of stuff on eBay. Now to clean the house for the parental visit...

Oh, and just so you know, I still have the most wonderful boyfriend on the planet. Just in case there was any question in anyone's mind. :-)