Sittin on the porch..

Had a blessedly less busy Thursday evening last night, which I am just not used to having. Got home from class, and had one of my meetings cancelled. Slathered henna on my head, cleaned dishes and went through some papers in an attempt to yet again tame the paper monster. And realized it wasn't even 9pm yet - bliss! Got to actually sit on the porch and talk to my friends for a while. Nice to check in for once.

So I settled in to let my head develop, turned on Carolyn Myss again, and settled in to watch with my inkle weaving for a few minutes. Hooray for Netflix!

Now, I found Carolyn Myss about 5 years ago when my universe was a wreck. There were a few good things keeping me from jumping off a pier, but not too much. But I stumbled across a TV program on PBS with her talking away, and just got hooked. She's a very straightforward kinda new-agey type. There was a time when I got into the floofier varieties of New Agey stuff, but for the most part, I like my facts hot and sizzling and fresh off the scientific research. Everything else is theatre to me, and while there's a place for it, I just can't get as fluffy as I used to. And here's this woman, who's currently a medical intuitive, who used to be in a nice, normal boring career. And the words that are coming out of her mouth, oh boy! She's pretty blunt - it's a different kind of way of speaking.

The part I got to last night in the video("Why people don't heal" I think is the name of it) was about how people find their value and bonding experiences by rehashing their bad times and "wounds" with each other. And she's right - there's something about sharing a terrible thing that's happened to you that can be a socially bonding experience. How many times have you found yourself sharing something vulnerable with someone else way before they know you from Adam? And it can grant you sympathy, acceptance, comiseration, and a sense of comfort that wouldn't normally be forthcoming, right?

Well, there's a dwelling on the past that happens in this exchange that can be draining. I've noticed it when I do it, so I do try not to. There's something about dwelling on an injury instead of a victory that drags your spirit right down, makes you feel like you did at that past point, and drains you away from the here and now. I've had entire friendships with people who only discussed the past, not the plans for the future or what's happening right now. It could have been 10 minutes ago, but it was more interesting to them than figuring out what's next and moving on. No wonder my universe never got anywhere, eh? I did the same thing. Hard to move forward when you're inadvertantly always discussing the past.

And once I started to make a change and started setting things in motion, whew! Hold on to your seats folks, because my universe started kicking into high speed. Changes come faster, good things swing my way more often, and the differences are so drastic that my old self wouldn't recognize my new self. Kinda cool, actually. I have no idea if it works like this for everyone, but my experience has been quite remarkable.

So if you wanna connect, tell me what you're living now. What you're planning. Not that I won't comfort you in times of need and help you heal, but there's healing and then there's dwelling. I know where I want to live, and now seems like a pretty good place :-)