Realizations

Hmm, realized something today as I trundled back and forth to class from work while contemplating the format of my paper to be finished tonight. I realized that I really don't feel terribly supported by my family in this whole law school thing, nor have I for most of the career choices I've made in my life. My sister comes the closest - she's actually ecouraged me some, and bought the heavy-duty backpack I carry my massive books in. But the general response I get from them on just about everything I do is "why the hell would you want to do that?"

Now imagine for a moment that you apply for a really difficult to get, prestigious job and get it. It requires graduation from one of the most highly regarded law enforcment academys in the world. And no one from your family shows up for your graduation. They stopped for lunch instead. Yeah.

How about calling your family to tell them you got a full scholarship to graduate school, and your parents aren't happy for you? In fact, your father hates your future profession. Nor will they assist you in any way, shape or form in getting the required degree. Great.

And when you need help to get funding for classes you need to graduate, instead of running up another $10,000 in debt, no one will help you out with a cosign. And we're not talking calculus here. Gotta love that frugality they tout so often...

Yeah, as much as I love my brother and I'm happy he's getting married, I'm not looking forward to seeing the family at his wedding. I won't be answering questions about law school if I can avoid it. Not because I don't enjoy it, but simply because I don't feel like sharing my accomplishments with people who have gone out of their way to show their lack of support for me. I'm not doing anything that terribly strange or weird or unique. But I usually get treated like I'm wearing a circus clown outfit to most family events. Folks are friendly, but there's something stilted in the interaction. Like they're pretending I'm normal. Funny, I thought I was normal...

So, I'll make a dress to wear so we have something to talk about that doesn't involve my career. They're ok with the sewing thing. They'd better be. I've been sewing since I was about 10, for crying out loud! And it's nice and neutral. Unless they hate it, and at this point, I don't give a damn.

Yeah, I'm just not going to tell most of them about China until I'm leaving. Some things are better that way. I was wondering why I was feeling a bit stressed as I put in my application for China. Yeah, time to punt those feelings out of the hopper. I've got enough to worrry about without feeling annoyed at my family. So what's "what the hell would you want to do that for?" in Mandarin?

By the way, if anyone knows of a good part time evening job around Xmas I can apply for in the evenings, let me know. I'm thinking it would be smart to make some extra cash for the month of December. Tuition for China is due in February! Deposit is going in this week!