The simple reason why I learned some form of control over my emotions...

It's just not possible to function otherwise. I've found that I can't achieve anything while bound up in worry, fear, anxiety, and even good emotions like being goofy and silly can eat my resolve and ability to complete things. Not that every moment has to be filled with achievement, but at the moment my schedule is so packed that I can't see any other way than effectively managing myself to greater ends.

Now this doesn't mean I don't have time to feel. Au contraire, mes amis! I find that clarity makes the good parts sweeter and more appreciated. But it also allows me to figure out what's going on, do something to soothe that raging emotion, and find a way to keep going. Letting anxiety and fear run away with my heart results in situations like the last few days - I worry myself to death, don't get any sleep, stop being productive at work and school and generally just don't care about anything else. Talk about a fast way to derail one's universe, eh?

And we all know those people. The ones who can't keep their shit together. Who create havoc in their interactions with other people and make no attempt to understand why their actions don't have the effect they're looking for. Then they get frustrated, mope around, take it out some more on others, and yet again wonder why nobody loves them the way they feel they need. And it spreads to many aspects of their lives. And the more they try to control it their way, not asking for help, not taking the time to really own what they did and what it means to someone other than themselves, the more it turns into a huge mess.

My advice? Let it go, grasshopper. Give up the pride, the sense of entitlement, the desire to protect oneself to an extreme, to try to claim what's rightfully yours. Nothing comes to the grasping hand. No one likes to be forced into anything, including you. Forcing emotions just makes them fight back harder. Emotions ebb and flow, and without knowing the surf, you can't ride the waves. You'll end up drenched, waterlogged, frustrated and cold. When you've hit the bottom again and again, give the things up that don't serve you. Find someone you trust and very gently reach out from that place and ask for help. You may get rejected - that's a part of owning your past actions. But rejection just means you need to reach out more gently. Sincerity is a place of humbleness. Be humble, accept, and ask to learn.

This post sponsored by 3 years of therapy, 2 years of learning to meditate, and 14 years of just not getting it. Be humble, accept and ask to learn :-)