Huh, funny part I realized last night, as we yet again discussed the closure thing. I was making suggestions on things I do for closure when the other person just can't communicate, and I realized that I learned how to do that for myself lately. Sure there are things that I still wonder "and what the hell was that all about?", but for the most part I just accept that things just aren't going to work, and I'm much happier moving onto something new than attempting to beat a dead horse into resusitation when a relationship peters out before it even began. Maybe try a smidge of forgiveness, be civil when out in social situations. But for the most part, once I don't care anymore, I just don't care anymore. Saves a huge amount of emotional pain and suffering, and I can sleep nicely at night again.
Now that's not to say I don't care about folks. I've been blessed with a ton of wonderful men in my life, and I wish them well in their individual endeavors. Some of them kept in touch, some didn't, some are very sweet and kind, some I'd prefer jumped off a bridge for their own good and the sake of others. But generally there's just not any attachment left there either, beyond a platonic friendship at most. Kinda cool, actually, and allows me to enjoy talking to them when I do run into them.
But all this is rather handy in my universe. I get to sail along, do my work and studying, enjoy the company of my friends, all without obsessing over some guy or waiting by the phone or being the lonely cat law student at home. I'm just too busy with things to do to want to tie up my emotions in what could have been, should have been, etc. If things will happen, they just will. My universe is turning slowly to one in which things just drop into my life for a reason, and all is good as long as I don't force things. No ulcers, no pain, no wondering what's wrong with me. I'm just fine thanks, at least in my world. Not perfect, just fine.
Exit, stage left.
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