Ok, so my grades suck. So I'll be stuck working at McDonalds in the drive thru window. I'll be the best goddamn thing that drive thru window ever saw!
You will have fries with that, you will be super sizing, and you'll thank me for my damn thoughtfulness for asking! And while you're at it, you'll have a damned apple pie for dessert and enjoy the feeling of your arteries hardening and your waistband exploding all over the world.
Why? Because you're in America. Mind you, I didn't say you were an American, because some things you just can't assume in this fantastic little society of ours. And we believe in equal opportunity to eat ourselves sick in the best traditions of over-processed food and things that taste great despite making us sick! Everyone should have the opportunity for $6 meals which provide all the calories you need in a day (we're not discussing the fact that it's pretty much the worst possible choice of how to get your calories, just that it's available). Everyone should enjoy the bounty of America's ability to process what might be unthinkable to eat in other countries into tasty morsels of readily available, cheap food.
Yeah, you'll like it and come back for more of my fantastic smile and how my ass fits in those polyester uniforms. Oh yeah, nothing says desirable like a fast food chick in an ill-fitting uniform. Mmm-hmm, lemme sign up for more of that...
Ok, I'll stop now. I'm better. Helps to talk to attorneys and hear their horror stories from school. Just this once, it's not a terrible thing.
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