Tell me you're fantastic!

Ok, pet peeve time. What is it with guys, because it’s mostly guys, who say “write soon!” and then don’t have anything entertaining to say? No questions asked, no entertaining stories, nothing but “can’t wait to hear from you again”. About what? What are we talking about that’s soo fabulous? I can’t remember what the hell we were talking about, and when I go back and read the email trail, I still have no idea. Yeah, this sounds kinda bitchy. There’s a reason I’m not big on the whole “online meet and greet” thing.

Email is a skill. Giving good email can be equated to dancing. You have to pay attention to what your partner is doing in order to make it interesting. You don’t want to step on their toes, have a wimpy stance, and you have to be sure you’re both going in the same direction. It amuses the hell out of me when I can literally hear someone’s thought trail as I read their reply message – “Do I like her? Does she like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Am I supposed to respond to that?”. Yes, it does come through. Yes, my job requires a huge amount of empathy, and at times I think I’m psychic. So yes, I do hear that. And yes, most guys and girls think along predictable patterns. It’s just the way the monkeys talk. We all want to know the same things about people when we meet them – do they like me? Will they treat me with respect? How close do I want this person to be? Do they want to be my friend/lover/spanky monkey/etc.?

But email takes it to a whole new level. If you’ve never or rarely met that person in the flesh, you don’t have that library of their reactions and definitions to things. So you have to spend more time telling stories, asking questions, and relating in general. Which brings me back to the whole bad/boring/worthless email thing. Without a frame of reference created by spending time together, in order to know someone online, you need to create that frame of reference. Open up, Sparky, I can get this level of interaction in a bar with really loud music with the added bonus of dance music and decent drinks. And the assistance of my friends in getting rid of your butt if you turn out to be less than stellar. Harsh? Perhaps… But I have a busy schedule, fantastic friends, and lots of cool ass hobbies. I could be out creating something beautiful and exchanging thoughts with the folks I already know I adore. I’d rather hear about who you are than read another forwarded joke that I got 6 months ago from 14 other folks who have my email. Why would I bother with Hershey’s when my universe is Godiva, baby?

I’m not a snob, at least not for status’s sake. I’m a time snob. My time deserves to be spent in the best possible company I can find. And I’ve got some fantastic people in my life. Convince me :-)