I'm Baaaaack!

Made it back - very long flight, and some sleep helped immensely. I have some serious catching up to do on the China blog - Internet was weird in China.

More later, just glad to be home.

Whew! Hold on for the ride, eh?

So, I'm almost there. Finishing work today (I'll miss my peeps), started packing things, and generally getting organized. Have to stop off at WalMart and stock up the kitties for J, who's staying at my place while i'm gone. Finished exams last night too. Thank goodness that's over...

Few more projects to finish and finish packing, hit a bunch of social stuff over the next few days, and wheee! I'm off!

This is all rather surreal. I've planned this for the past year, worked my butt off to get the cash together, worked the admin to get my degree in order, went to classes did homework, wrapped up my job and finally, finally it's here. And it's weird. Anticipation, it gets me every time.

So I'm just trying to relax, stay in the minute and enjoy my last few moments of this part of my existance. And then it's time to shake it all up, change things for a bit and travel for a bit. Pack all myy stuff up and move to another state yet again. Nomadic life, it's fabulous! Just in time to avoid the allergy season reving up down here..

So yeah, a bit terrified, a bit excited and a lot relieved.

Still in exams

Yup, midway through my finals. Just plugging along in my senioritis state. I am a bit more motivated to study properly after last night's Trusts exam. Not pretty, but not a complete loss. I got the code sections in there, and I think my short answers aren't too terrible. The long essay was a bear, and not a paragon of organization. Blah. I wrote like crap, but hopefully everyone else did too since there was way too much to do in 2 hours.

Went home in my zombified state and watched Heroes with the neighbors. Cool show, I wish I'd actually been able to watch it during the semester, but no. Hopefully I'll remember to see next week's double episode.

Cutting off my hair today. While I like my hair long, there's a point where it just looks nasty from existing just too long. Time to chop a few inches off and see about looking stylish again...

Blurgh arrgh harmanz...

Neil's essay about the new Rush album.

http://www.rush.com/thegameofsnakesandarrows/Rush.Essay4.S&A.pdf
I really enjoyed this. Now go Google: Leela, the game

How to dissect a Rush album

Got the new Rush. It always amuses me, but it's the only artistic work I have a process for. A way of devouring it. Granted, after the number of albums they have, it's not surprising. The band's music is the same age as me, so it always feels like a new sibling to get a new album. Not mine, but familiar. And it's all that guy at the music store's fault. The one I worked with that looked like Kip Winger. He got me hooked on Rush, and it worked for me! Here's how it goes:

Pop the album in for its first listening. Usually rough. I run around the house and let it just wash over me while I do whatever tasks I need to get done. I can tell if I like something because it makes me stop and listen wherever I am, regardless of what I'm doing. But no going back - gotta listen to it all the way through the first time.

Burn a copy for the car, where I do the real listening. And I'm allowed to go back in songs, restart, and examine the ones that hit me. And I play it to death, usually for at least a week or two unless I have some car trips. The main body of digesting is here. Things hit me, I learn the lyrics, I hear the interplay of the instruments.

I take a break. A day, a week, a month or two, I just stop listening. And let the cravings start. Usually I wait until I have to hear a particular riff or song that's bouncing around in my head. And then I can go back to playing it to death again. I've killed more than a few burned copies this way. The world got cheaper with CD burning and not in a derogatory way...

Eventually I feel how it fits into my Rush mental library. It fits into a spot nicely, speaks to certain resonances in my brain or soul, talks to certain experiences.

This one is about meaning so far. Spirituality in a way. A lot of there recent stuff has those themes, and it seems that each album has a new facet, a refinement to the seeking. I laughed when they covered "The Seeker" for their EP a few years back. It explained a lot...

So there you have it. How I make a month or two meal of a new Rush album. I gnaw, gnosh, chew, masticate, ruminate (one of my favorites) over it until I feel its part of me. Not the prettiest metaphor, but it works.

Here's my Hangzhou travel blog

http://sammychina.blogspot.com/

Here's where I'll be blogging in China, once I get there.

All adventure and scholarly goodness!

Pissy = Worldly goodness

So apparently my little post below had lots of amusing things for search engines. I got hits from Oman and Estonia, among others. Hulloooo world! Nice to see you! Welcome to my page!

Otherwise, things are all in line and happy. China crap being packed slowly. Ordered a personal filter bottle - i figured for $20 it's worth it. Even if it gets stolen. I feel better if my mom and I have a reliable source of water regardless of where we are. Got my paperwork, my money belt, just have to pack up some goodies and start the stack of clothing to pare down dramatically.

Calmed down on the man front too. Exams are just a pain sometimes. I skipped last night's review session and class and went home and got 11 hours of sleep, thanks to a little sleeping pill. I still feel spacy today, but the rest was worth it. Not the same as natural rest, but I needed the downtime bad. I have to figure things out for stress, as 2 months of this chaos before the Bar might kill me.

Although I did still have the thought of " I could still move anywhere or stay here" last night. I think moving added to the stress a bit. Most of my bookshelves are packed up and I got rid of my couch, so it's real that one way or another, I'm moving. Ugh. Hate moving, but I still can't buy a house in SD. Love my friends, when I have time to enjoy them, but I still can't get what I want here. How crappy...

But looking forward to the shopping spree of the decade, shopped Nordies for pictures of suits to have made, and got price approximations for various souveniers. Should be fun, and I'm very much looking forward to it!

Just a little advice..

I've got to get something off my chest, as it seems that some folks aren't tying these particular thoughts together effectively...

1. I have a long history of supporting myself (and sometimes others), with only one time in my life I can point to where others carried me, since I left my parent's home.
2. When the chips are down, I always have a job. Maybe two. Sometimes (dear god) three, if that's what's needed. I just do what I have to.
3. Except for that one time, which I am eternally grateful for those who helped me, I have always paid my bills, taken care of my own shit, and generally acted mostly like an adult.

Ergo, given the above, don't ever imply that you will need to support me. It's one thing to "be the man". It's another to imply that I need someone else to take care of me. That there is the road to goodbyeland, and I know you don't want to visit there. I have life insurance for a reason, I have multiple contingencies for any occasion.

An additional point is that I am capable. Very, terrifyingly capable at times. I know how to call coordinates for an airstrike, honey, I don't need you to tell me that I have to move to a certain neighborhood. I have my criteria, I can discuss options with the police department if needed.

And you'd better not be assuming that you're moving in with me. That requires a form of commitment, usually in the form of an engagement or some similar situation we've collectively negotiated for the common good, usually after successfully dated for more than a year, usually 2. I used to be an Internal Auditor, I'm big on due dilligence, and that takes time.

Yes, I'm bitchy. It's exam time. Kind of like 3 weeks of PMS, compounded by personal things scheduled all over my universe at the moment. I'm not angry, but I just feel like this is not a no brainer situation. I don't advertise my helplessness, as far as I can tell. I got over codependence, and I kinda like having boundaries. They're rather fun, and make achieving things rather less painful. But jeez Louise! Don't acknowledge my boundaries then pretend they're not there for your own personal convenience....

Grrr...

Brains just not there....

Well, exams start tonight. This one's not a huge deal, it's the other 3 that will probably kill me. I've started the review process, and I'm putting together my review flashcards. I'll have to recruit a few drill sargeants to help me out next week.

Just busy busy and not a lot of brains left over to write. I'll be thankful when I'm on a plane to China and can't do anything anymore...

Since I haven't posted yet today, have some good stuff..

Cathy Bonner’s 10 Commandments of Leadership. She is a businesswoman in Texas who founded The Women’s Museum, has written a book on leadership, and directed the Texas Dept of Commerce.

1. Thou Shalt Learn To Communicate in the 21st Century. If you cannot communicate in the 21st century, you can’t operate in business. Power is the control, access, and distribution of information.

2. Perception is Reality. Intelligence never speaks loudly enough, at least not in a crowded media market. The perception of you or what you do is as important as what you really do.

3. Thou Shalt Dream. This is the concept of creative visualization – what your goals are – and not just letting your future happen to you.

4. Be Sure Your Goal Is What You Really Want. Oscar Wilde said, “When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.”

5. Thou Shalt Cover Responsibility. You can’t replace the “old guard” unless you take the responsibility for moving forward.

6. No Guts … No Glory. You can’t wait until you feel like you know a subject inside and out. You just have to adopt the Flying Wallenda factor – be on the high wire and show some guts.

7. Develop Three Kinds of Bones. A Funny Bone, a Wishbone, and a Backbone.

8. Nurture Thyself … Then Each Other. Everyone’s success is built on centuries of struggle. You have to protect that and nurture that to be part of something bigger than yourself.

9. Never Stop Learning. My favorite Japanese proverb is “I learn only to be contented.” Lifelong learning has to be a part of your business experience, not just your personal experience.

10. Conspire To Make A Better World. Try to change the system by working within the system without acting like the system. We have taught men to be brave and women to care. Now, we have to teach men to be brave enough to care about an equal and open society and teach women to care enough to be brave and not only to rock the cradle, but to rock the boat to make a better world.

Note to self...

Stop torturing yourself with Bar Exam prep research and study for exams!

You'll take Bar/Bri and PMBR. It will cost $4,000. Get over it. If you're nice, I'll let you buy an extra Oregon book or two to brush up.

Oy!

Go Sabres!

Oh, and the Sabres took round one of the playoffs against the Islanders!

Yay!

Zombie Dream #48

Yup, another one. This one is entertaining..

So I'm at a big West camping event, and I decide to go visit Gia down the road at her campsite. She's camped a bit away from folks, so I figure I'll go check on her. She's got a killer canvas tent with a bed and pretty big setup. It's got to be 20x30 in there! Nice, right?

Well, we're hanging out and talking and I warn her about the zombies. At this point no one has died from the zombies, they're just shuffling around the campsite. She's like, yeah, I know, they're annoying and scrabble on the sides of the tent, but I can pretty much ignore them as long as I stay inside. Now, the amusing point, is that at this point, the zombies are still fresh and just look like overly drunk people who can't talk. They don't attack anyone, they just shuffle around and moan. We're hanging out and having a good time, and just about when I'm thinking of heading back to Orkney camp, crap starts happening.

Some dude starts pulling the ties on the doors of her tent, and zombies start trying to enter. I confront the dude pulling on the ties, dark haired and somewhat resembles the first guy I ever dated in high school (!). I ask him where he's from, and he says Calontir and tries to leave. I try to grab him, but he moves back from the tent as zombies try to push in. I hold up a tiny throwing knife and tell him not to make me use this. His eyes get wide, as he knows that if the zombies smell blood, it's all over. He runs, but he gets away.

G and I get the damn zombies out of the tent by pushing them back out the doors and quick tying up the ties. We stop and look at each other, and I say You know we're screwed if anyone gets the slightest cut? Just the, we hear all hell break loose outside. D'oh is standing on the shower platform nearby and laughing as someone is taken down by the zombies. Yup, here we go. I was just going to suggest she get packed up and get her happy butt out of here, but now it's about just surviving. The zombies go nuts, attacking each other and the folks in that area. We dive back into the tent, and make a plan. I tell her to find Rorik and Jackie and get into one of their vehicles. I'm heading back to my camp to join the Orkneys in cleaning up this mess. We hug, she gives me a big stick she's got handy in the tent, and I wake up as I leave the tent...

Last thought for Friday

As a former campus safety, anti-terrorism type, don't don't dont spout off to me about gun control simply because some obviously mentally ill person chose a gun over your car, a long bow, or a cane to kill people with. Tools, people, they're just tools. Just because you're scared of them doesn't change the fact that a gun cannot jump up off the table and shoot you without some person pulling the trigger. Safety applies to anything that can hurt you, and I still see a lot of people on the road who need to go back to driving school. Sheesh...

I applaud the heroism of those who saved each other's lives by getting people out of harm's way as best they could.

I hate copycats.

I'm sad for unfinished lives, despite my Buddha nature trying to insist they will go on to have another shot or to a much higher place. It's still a terrible waste.

Not quite sure how I managed this, but...

I still have low blood pressure. Despite school and work and salty french fries and managing everything by my little self, I still managed a good amount lower than normal blood pressure at the doc's today. There's some folks that tend to think it has something to do with my allergic reactions - apparently anaphalytic shock lowers one's blood pressure. Hmm... Not sure that's a good trade off there.

Got a physical, they took my blood and gave me the tetanus shot I'd come to get. I'm still alive, go me! I shouldn't have any cholesterol or diabetes issues, but they like to panic over those. Doesn't run in the family, so I'm not terribly concerned.

Now to continue having my fries with a boatload of salt, yoga mornings, calestenics, and eating veggies.....

Zombie Dream #47

Ok, so woke up in a cold sweat yet again this morning, running from zombies. It was another chapter in the "What not to do when dealing with zombies" book. My cats and I were in this 2 story house with some other chick, checking rooms to see if the house was safe to hide out in. We had just gotten upstairs, and she went to check the master bedroom.

Apparantly she was just dream-bait, because she disturbed a pack of zombies in the other bedroom. If my cats coud roll their eyes at me, that was the look I got from them as we dove into the closet. No clue what happened to dream bait chick, but regardless, we were screwed. The other bedroom had mirrored closet sliding doors on it. Little known fact about me - I hate mirrored closet sliding doors. Despise them even. Not only are they a cheater way to make a room supposedly look bigger, but they never work right and creep me out at night when I see my reflection in them. Blah.

So here's me and my cats, huddled in the closet with zombies scrabbling at the cheap mirrored doors. The doors keep sliding a bit open and shut as I try to find a way to wedge them. And then it hits me. There's really not way out of this. It's a crappy safe house, and now the zombies are going to be all over us as soon as the doors give in. Blah. So I wake up...

Can you tell it's exam time? Always the zombie dreams near exam time....

Hmm, time to get to work...

Had a great 3 weeks of travel, but it's time to get down to business. M/C War was great, despite the rain. I was pretty happy with the Norman layers of warmness, and enjoyed wearing my spiffy, hot off the loom inkle belt. At one point, I was wearing 4 layers of tunics (silk, linen, linen, cotton) and still cold, so I ended up spending $$ on some warm socks and a cloak-like woobie at the merchant lady's shop. It pushed me over the edge to warmth, so despite spendign too much, I appreciated it. But I do need some more layers. Got some interesting ideas for rectangular construction layers and some embellishments. I NEED embellishments :-) In all my spare time, of course... At least my inkle loom is humming lately.

But in all that travel, I simply spent too much. I did an audit this morning, and reliazed that in my travels, I just spent a bit too much. I need to quick start up the money machine and get more stuff listed on eBay and Amazon. Its not like I don't have more stuff to sell than time to sell it all in. I have oodles of crap! The issue is to get it all online and listed and turned into green...

And I have a very nice lady who begs to pay me to come help her out, so I scheduled some time with her as well. We'll be spending some quality time over the next few weeks. The good news is that part of my over spending was accounting for the last few expenses for China - visa, medical insurance, weekend trips, etc. And covering a few things for B&D's wedding next week. But it does mean that my spending cash fund is rather low....I have credit card, but I'd rather not. And you can't rely on it for street vendors and small meals. better to have the cashola!

So yeah, while I will be working my butt off, but no more than I have been while travelling the last few weeks. Time to get the final exam goodies rolling too. I'm completely capable of doing really well this semester. Time to buckle down...

Happy Friday the 13th!

I'm useless today...

It's friday, I'm flying up to War tonight, my next deadline is next wednesday for the project at work, and I'm bored....

Yay Sabres - they won game 1 against the Islanders! Woohoo!

Finally, finally finished my Carolyn Myss DVD last night - good stuff. She goes along with the Vonnegut quote below wholeheartedly - you are what you say you are. And if you're literally stuck on someone or can't get past a past experience, all your energy is going to go into that mental block.

Flit flit - off to another topic... Garb! I'm slumming it this weekend. Early Norman layered tunics. Best remedy for a rainy event. Outer layers schuck off the rain while the inner ones keep you warm. I really hope I didn't forget anything important. And if I did, who cares!

Almost time for exams. Time to start my 1918 flu paper due next week - eek!

Ahh Mr. Vonnegut

“Be careful what you pretend to be, because you really are what you pretend to be.”
And that is about my favorite quote ever....

Thank you Kurt Vonnegut.

Rush and Independence Day...

Yup, got a free airline ticket, and bought myself a ticket to Rush yesterday. See, I do need to go home and visit the family clan this summer. I really only get to visit about once per year, and lately the visits have been getting shorter and shorter. Not fun, and everything seems rushed and hurried. I rarely got to see anyone beyond my immediate family besides Mel and her happy family. And I do like my relatives back in Buffalo...

Then I got bumped this past weekend, and collected a free round trip. And looked at the Rush concert dates, and Voila! Rush is in Buffalo at the theme park near my parents' house for the 4th of July. Kinda cool, eh? Granted, I'm not going to the concert with anyone, but I generally can have a wonderful time all by myself in a crowd of Rush fans without any issues. Besides, I really just want to go to the concert something terrible. I may see them again in SD or Portland if I can afford it. But even if I only go the once, it'll be a great time.

Yay! Rush! And I'm waiting on the pre-order of their new album. I should have it in a few weeks... Tasty. Always good to have more music from your favorite band. They almost take up a whole CD case in my collection, between 30 something albums, tribute albums, compilations, etc. Yay!