Huh?

Does Broiled Goat Cheese with Pumpkin Seed Sauce sound good to anyone?

Me neither. Why the hell does Google keep popping up that linkfor the recipe then?
I'll never understand... But then I also don't understand why people have recipes for green salad. It's salad. You put the green stuff down, you put some stuff with protein and taste on top, maybe a spot of dressing, and voila! Salad.

Mrf...

I think I'm in love with this blog

http://anonymouslawyer.blogspot.com/

All the reasons why I will likely never be a big firm lawyer. Well, that, and my tendency to wear flip flops when I've spent the weeknights reading a book until ridiculous hours and can't function well enough to actually tie or buckle shoes in the morning. I am truly not a morning person. And they truly aren't fond of flip flops on lawyers. Just sayin'...

Shovelling past the bullshit!

So, I’m pondering my post from a few days ago on MySoace regarding a friend and ex who neglected to let me know he was moving to AZ with his new girlfriend, yet pumped me for info about my current life. It amused me that this pissed me off. It does, but now that my usual lava-for-feelings have cooled a bit I can examine the topography of the situation a bit more clearly.

Why does this bug me? Well, the biggest reason has to do with the dynamics of this particular friendship. He’s had a dominant pattern in our interactions of paternalistic assumptions. In English, he assumes constantly that he knows how I feel and what’s best for me because of it. That wasn’t such an issue during the times when we actually talked regularly, as I’m open about that stuff and generally don’t have a problem communicating what’s going on. But what annoys me in this instance is that we haven’t talked for almost 7 months. He forwards me interesting crap from the Internet, but no contact, no Hi-how-you-doings, no update on life the universe and everything. So I find it entertaining that he assumes that I would be hurt by him having a new girlfriend, assumed that I would be annoyed that it’s working out, and he’s being secretive and childish about not wanting his supposed “friend” (me) to know about the situation. In fact, I wouldn't have even known about it if another friend hadn't included me on the going away party invite.

Now, I own that I’m assuming here, but that’s pretty much been the pattern on the times we’ve been just friends and dating other people. He plays the high school game of “You’re my ex, and you don’t need to know who I’m serious about, but I’ll drop you crumbs about those I’m not serious about just so you know I’m dating”. Are you tired yet from reading this crap? I am….

So I went to the obvious places and did a systems check. I poked a stick in the dark spot that was my feelings for him. Not much there. A bit of “hope he’s doing ok?”, but none of the former longing and caring that I had when I actually dated him and had any sort of return from him of my actual feelings. Good good…

I poked a stick in the cave of resentment and saw what little monsters were clinging to that stick – it was mostly the friendship issues of “why doesn’t he talk to me?”, “dumbass professes to be my friend yet never tells me anything”, and “my other friends are more giving than him”. Hmm, not doing too shabby here. So I trundled over to the accounting table and tallied up what I would lose by just dumping him out of my life. Hmm, all I get from this person is random forwarded shit via email. While past gifts of knowledge have been generous, I can use Google just fine, thanks. Hmm, downsides? Hello, I said downsides? The only things I came up with were to do with other mutual friends who will likely still talk to him. I’m a big girl, we have plenty of other things to talk about. I don’t see the downside here…Total friendship loss calculation comes out positive for the dumping. Excellent.

So yeah, while I am pissy about being treated like a little animal in the menagerie that is his feelings (he’s a scientist, if he reduces the little monsters to specimens, he can poke at them and they’re not scary), I’m done. Finis. Sayonara! Have a nice life. Say Ciao as you drive by on your little motor scooter with your new chica. But no more responses to your shitty little emails. The net sum on our interactions has been less than satisfying, and while you have a great chick magnet in that huge black hole that has engulfed your heart, I don’t need any more projects, thank you. I spent a lot of money on therapy to be able to just say no to crazy men in my life, thanks. Time to actually use some of that crap.

So yeah, not as bad as I thought it was, but whew! Took a bit of asbestos underwear and patience to sort that mess out. I'm feeling better, how about you?

Fabulous! Time for a holiday weekend. Pass the Guiness!

Sadness

Big fat sigh....

My Samurai Sam's Teriyaki is gone.... Bwahahahahahha! No more crap puffs! I have to drive to get the little buggers now. How dreadful! And it's been replaced by a mediocre sushi place. How sad! I already have a sushi place - you couldn't be original? It's prime real estate, it should be a Jamba Juice or something that we don't have 47 of in the area. And crab puffs. No one on this coast sells crab puffs anymore! Yes, I know. They're little fried wonton things with cream cheese, crab, and scallions. Nothing huge. I can make them at home. But I don't want to - I want to walk down the street and buy a pack for $3 :-) Oh hello big butt, that's where you came from!

I will miss my Samurai Sam's. I did actually eat healthy food there too. Good crisp veggies in the teriyaki bowls, and you can't beat it for $7. But I suppose they'd rather make sushi. Personally I think we needed something more interesting. Granted, we're spoiled to death with everything from Tapas to Creole on the block, with fantastic Italian and pizza as well. But sheesh, the sushi place on the next block is clean and spiffy - why create another sushi place in a dingy little store?

Ugh, the inhumanity. And if you can't see my tongue in my cheek, you're not paying attention!

Happy Birthday Dubby!

Everyone go out and wish my fantastic brother, Jeff(ie. Dubby), a wonderful birthday!

Now, understand, I forgot it was his birthday. I'm terrible at birthdays. It's part of the reason why I don't celebrate birthdays too enthusiastically on the actual day. I have a terrible time remembering when they actually are. But I lucked out and actually called him on his real birthday like a good sister. Until he reminded me that it was his birthday - oops!

Luckily he loves me and I love him, and we're all good. I'll send over his present on Friday when the money magically shows up in my account.

So why is my brother so wonderful? Well, he's MY brother. And he's a character like me. He's fun and goofy and a kick ass salesman. His fiancee thinks he's a stud, and he's got too many houses at the moment. (anyone want to buy a nice 2 bedroom home in NOVA?) His new house is rockin and it's in one of those country club developments. Yet he still likes his cheap beer, football games, bocce ball tournaments on the holidays, and kicking back with the rest of us yahoos in the family. I'm proud of my brother, and dammit you should be too! Being my brother is a difficult job at times, and somehow he's stuck to it and created a good life for himself to boot.

Happy birthday Bro!

Thankful?

A word about life, the universe and having everything…

Well, yeah. At the end of the day we should all be “Oprah at the beginning of the day” thankful for everything. We should praise our lucky stars and jump up and down with peaceful joy and paint ourselves pink and do performance art in celebration. When you come back to Earth, Sparky, let me know. The reality is a bit more sobering. We live in a great place, don’t get me wrong. But the joy of being human is that you can be in the most beautiful, happy, restful place and you could screw it all to heck in a heartbeat because your drink isn’t cold enough. We’re fickle buggers. I remember being a child and being so wound up about something on Christmas that despite getting my #1 toy on the list (after the pony, never got the *&$%$ pony), that I would be miserable all day. Amazing what a certain perspective will do for whether you appreciate what’s around you.

So while we have nice places to live, food, clothing, TV, yadda yadda, most of us aren’t happy. Why? Perspective. I don’t care who you are or what you do every day – if you decide not to like something or someone, you’re gonna have a hard time changing that unless you fix your own head. That person can work their patootie off trying to impress you, and until you decide to change it, you won’t like them. The big problem is when you decide you don’t like anything. Ever. Except those little cheesy crackers in the Chex mix. But life can’t be made of those little cheesy crackers. Despite my many efforts to the contrary and supporting our Space program, I still can’t vote anyone off my planet. If wishes were spacecraft, lots of folks would be sucking vacuum. So in the meantime, I need to adjust my own attitude, all by myself.

Does this mean I have to be nice to everyone? No, but they do have to earn respect, otherwise I’m sticking with good old fashioned courtesy.

Does this mean I like everyone? What kind of crack are you smoking?! No, I don’t have to like everyone, but I respect their right to breathe in my vicinity until they prove they’re too obnoxious to be near me. And even then, I still have working feet and the ability to glare with the best of them.

Am I all Oprah about the wonderful blessings in my life? Hell no, I’m from NY. While appreciate the sheer luck the universe bestowed on me in plunking me down where I started, I’ve been driving this machine ever since. I have the responsibility to be happy, be nice, play nice, respect those who deserve, be courteous, and suck it up when crap doesn’t go my way. The flip side of that is to do, create, be fun, make fun, play nice, inspire others, and generally be an asset to the universe. See, look what you created!

So, let’s check the balance sheet – are you an asset or a liability?

Good concert!

Wow, I'm exhausted today, but saw a really fantastic show at the Fair last night. Heart was in concert! I've never seen them before, and figured I should get to it since I'm not sure how often they get to tour. And well, they're, um, getting up there.

We got cheap seats in the grandstand, but got there early enough to get decent seats. We had fun with our fellow fans in the row. The band came out, a bit late as most shows are, and just laid down the groove from note one! Ann Wilson just has the most amazing voice - she nailed it right off the bat, and blew my companion's socks off. I knew we were in for a treat, but it even exceeded my expectations!

They played a bunch of their hits: Alone, Kick it out, Crazy on you, These Dreams, etc. Everyone was dancing and singing along. Ann's birthday was a few days ago, so Nancy Wilson had us all sing happy birthday to her. Very cool! And then, they kicked it into overdrive...

They started playing Zeppelin tunes!

Now, I knew they're friends with what's left of Zeppelin - John Paul Jones plays on at least one of their albums. But towards the end of the show they attacked The Immigrant song and Misty Mountain Hop, and it was just fantastic. Time for my companion's jaw to drop yet again! And this is really the only place where you're gonna hear Zeppelin tunes done by folks who partied with Zeppelin way back when. Ann did justice to Plant's vocals, and the band just rocked out! More singing, more dancing, the crowd went nutso!

Great show, I can't beat the $20 tickets, and good times had by all!

But ugh, time for more coffee my friends! It's gonna be a looooong day, and I have movie tix tonight. Go me!

Flash from the past....

And it's not even Mercury retrograde...

I just got an email from an old high school buddy that I haven't talked to since, well, high school. Very cool to talk to someone who calls me JJ instead of Sammy. Not that I mind Sammy, it's just amusing!

I knew him way back when I first had a distinct clue on who I was, where I was going, and how fabulous it would be once I got there. I totally lost that when I went to college. Maybe it was the shock of starting over, maybe it was the frustration with how crappy my school was, maybe it was just not having friends like him around to remind me of who I was. Regardless, it is good to hear from him. Especially now that I have some of that assurance back, and I've begun to rebuild some of the cool parts that make me me. I've experienced some cool shit, survived my failures with a minimum of open wounds, and cut a lot of the bullshit out of my life. That was a cool thing to realize, as I wrote that response to "what have you been up to?" I am sorely tempted to post that summary here, but most of you know that crap from the horse's mouth, no need to reiterate...

And geez, I'm a character! I just realized what a soap opera my life is and has been. And I even left out some of the more colorful stuff, like the fire play, costumed events other than the SCA, some of my travels, etc.... I certainly didn't go to college, get a boring cubicle job, raise 2.5 kids and a dog, and buy a house. I meandered a bit more along the way. Who wants to meander with me a bit :-)

Ha! Footnote in the Sammy handbook...

I'm not being mysterious, I'm just bored.

That look on my face? That's me imagining all the things I would do to escape this meeting with your ass on a platter to serve up to some good old fashioned lions. Grrr...

Or I'm imagining the various piles of paperwork and crap I could be shoveling off my desk.

Or I could be playing a video game in my mind.

Or something just as scintillating. Oh the rapture....

Back on track

I had a fabulous weekend! Nothing like the county fair and an evening of drunken debauchery to relax one’s soul, eh? Buuut, all good things must come to an end. I’m not completely satisfied with my weight routine, and I was kind of letting myself go a bit on nutrition due to the pain and suffering of the weights. But now that I’m technically established in it, it’s time to get back to eating properly and all that. And hey, what fun is the county fair without fried everything? But I can definitely stop that for a bit. I feel like a whale, deep fried and rolled in sugar and coconut. Not attractive, despite being tasty. Funny part is that I’m still smaller overall, but all these muscles are in the way. Now I just want to be able to see the muscles. I paid for them, I want to see them!

Had my usual entertaining moment on Saturday evening dancing at Dan’s show. Now, I always have a good time dancing at these things. It’s funny with all the drunks, and usually a good crowd. I hadn’t realized how much we’ve come to take over the bar when we go to one of these things, it was really funny! But it still tickles me when random folks tell me they enjoy my dancing. I think of it as doodling most of the time, unless I’m competing or appearing with some really insanely good dancers. At SCA type stuff, I’m taking the time to work out the combos in my head or whatever strikes my fancy at the time. Work on decent facial expressions and not looking like a doofus. Kinda of practice, kind of a performance. I’m not comfortable blowing out the huge, big, look at me moves because it’s a group setting. No reason to run the other girls off the floor. And I have fun playing around with them too. But yeah, it does give me a pleasant surprise to get a compliment, it’s very sweet and I’m glad I’m still entertaining! Jeepers, if you like this, imagine if I dug out the good stuff…. Oh hell, maybe this is the good stuff, and my big, over the top stuff isn’t that great. Ack! Entirely possible I suppose.

Eh, I’d have to care. Dance is one thing I’m comfortable with, I speak my own language, and apparently it’s one that people like “hearing”. I know what my body is saying, how it’s saying it, and how I’m going to get from a-b in a phrase. Sure, I want to learn more parts and techniques and such, but I’m happy getting there in my time. Everyone seems to like the “joy” dance I’ve been working on for a year, and I’m finally starting to feel it. Fake it until you make it apparently does work, and since it’s hard to lie while dancing, I’m good with doing the happy dance. Literally. So, yeah, I’m rambling all over town in this one. Is it time to go back to the gym yet?

Pennsic Battles

Mass Battles - 8 points:
Town Battle
Allied Battle
Woods Battle (2 pts)
Field Battle (2 pts)
Broken Field Battle (2 pts)

Teehee – those are all the main battles we get to be part of at Pennsic. Not counting the special tourneys in the afternoons. I think I need to find the chicks tourney this year :-)

Fight fight fight!

Now, bear in mind that the battles at Pennsic are not the same as we do out here. Last year I had to laugh because Vlad was all ready for a full day of fighting, and the field battle was over in 3 tries. Now, they were shorter than normal due to some really crappy, unbalanced numbers. But the whole thing was over in less than 2 hours. Out here, two hours is a warm up battle :-)

The difference lies in the fighting. Things just move faster from what I remember. Your long res battle is only 90 minutes, not the 2-3 hour monster like we’ve done at Estrella. So units move much more quickly and decisively, charges happen fast, and I felt like I needed to be on my toes a bit more. Kinda like fighting with the Orkneys all the time!

Now, I felt doubly gypped last year because we marched across the field and presented our flank to 3 units just waiting to pounce on us! I was using sword and board and stood against their charge, but I got killed about 47 times due to the fact that I had no room to fall down, and none of them heard my “Good” screamed over and over. Bad game of wack a mole, but I bought time for Vlad to pick a bunch off with a spear. So 30 seconds into the battle, I trudged back to our staging point to wait for the next battle. The unit survived to do well, but me and another guy stood around feeling stupid for getting smoked as soon as the battle started. It was for a good cause, but not as much fun as it could have been.

So this year, I’m fighting with a range of folks. I’ll probably join Caid for a bit, go find my college buddies for some fun, and fight with Erwin’s crew again. We’ll see where I have the most fun, but I’m truly just looking forward to fighting alongside my friends and family from all over the country!

Stolen from Dorinda...

http://www.animepagoda.com/index.php?page=1&act=viewCat&catId=84

Dear God, I didn't know they had Secret Agent Cthulhu..

If you don't know who Cthulhu is, we need to set you up with the "Information Bases for Geeks, Volume 3: the Cult Classics"...

There will be a test :-)

I booked my flight, I booked my flight!

I booked my flight today, woohoo! Got a good deal by going directly through the airline, and flying home that final Friday instead of Saturday. Nice to have two days to recover over the weekend, too. I'll have to remember how to survive in real life again after a week without telephones or real schedules.

God, I can't wait for Pennsic! It's just fantastic! My watch is gone once I get on the plane. I turn off my phone once I'm on site. And I just go from cool thing to do to cool thing to do.... You end up meandering all over the place and just having a rocking good time. I meet a million peole every time I go, too! And I see people I haven't seen in years! It's just a great time, and now that I'm fighting again, it's yet another new experience! And now I've got the endurance to survive a few days of battles instead of taking breaks every other day. Just fun, whole different world, and good times...

Now, off to replenish on fabric and really start cranking out the clothes!

Delicious workout and Soup!

It's just amazing that I actually enjoy the kickboxing course on Wednesdays and Fridays. I usually look like an idiot through the whole thing. I just can't get footwork quickly - it's the single biggest skill I wished I had most of the time in dealing with sports and dance. I have to go through it really slowly, and if I think too hard, I screw it all up in a heartbeat and have to start over. So despite my inability to do half of the steps, my attempts at keeping up are enough to raise my heartbeat enough to keep up the svelteness work. I still have discombobulated moments where I just don't get where the hell we're going. But I pick it up in a few steps usually. And my punches are getting more impressive looking. Grrrrr, I'm fierce!

And then there's soup. Ode to homemade soup! I've been on a soup kick for a few months now, learning to cook a few different kinds of soups. But it seems my favorite is still a potato sausage soup with kale tossed in to cook at the end. It's creamy and sausage-y and has actual vegetable matter in it, and it all just satisfies so nicely! The tomato basil was good too, but I OD rather easily on it since it's kinda rich. I think I need to perfect beef stew next and maybe some chili. Trying to make sure I get enough protein so that my muscle building continues. Although I'd be surprised if it wasn't - my weight hasn't gone down, even while I've dropped a size or two! Apparently I get my own gravity well :-)

Soooo, feeling good despite the rough few weeks I've been having while fighting. Need to bang that damn ding out of my helmet and get back to practice.

Well crappy...

Seems that one vacation has been traded for another. I can't go to West An Tir afterall. It sucks being effective at what I do sometimes. My boss doesn't want the office to be without someone to handle tech support and facilities that weekend, so I'll have to go into the office and check on things. Blah. So no West An Tir for me.

What does that mean? More partying locally! Hooray! Well, maybe I'll finally get to the zoo or Marine Land or some of the 500 other places I haven't been to in SD yet. And I can't say I'm sad about not spending another $200 on a random road trip. All the more to have available for Pennsic.

So my apologies to the other intrepid travellers. I'll unfortunately have to check into work that weekend. But have a great time!

But...

I still went to the gym today and worked out with my trainer...

:-ppppppppppppt!

How's that for resiliance?

No cause for alarm..

So apparently my big blockhead is still good and solid. I got freight-trained at practice yesterday, and bounced off the concrete strip around the shrubbery in the park. I had a lovely moment of peace before everyone jumped on me asking if I was ok. Problem was I was attempting to run a systems check to see if I was ok. So I went with the voices and got out of the way of the fighting and peeled out of my bucket. I'm sitting over on the park bench, wondering if I'm a wuss when I look down at my helmet. It's dented. It used to be circular around the bottom, now it's got a flat part along the back. About where my head bounced off the concrete. Yeah, I've got a concussion, that's why my head's all throbby...

So just for reference's sake, here's what it felt like:

Imagine you have a fuzzy blanket shrouding your thoughts. It's not hard to think, it's just a bit slower. Your brain inside your skull feels like it's been shaken, not stirred, and throbs a bit. Things may not feel like they're sitting right in your skull. Your eyes may hurt from being thrown around in their sockets. You get little pains of headaches to counterpoint the general throbbing. And you get sleepy, despite any amount of caffeine you imbibe. Your pupils can be different sizes too, it's kinda cool. ut ice on the back of your neck, take an anti-inflammatory, and don't fall asleep!

I'm better today, if still a bit slow on the uptake. But I'll live, no need to amputate :-)

Gut says....

Yup, unsigned flowers are always bad news....

If you want me to accept flowers, sign the damn card.

Blerk? Um, err, thank you?

All right.. Whoever sent the flowers - thank you! What a lovely surprise!

Next time, sign the damn card.... Or fess up. How about smoke signals?
I love and hate surprises. And I adore flowers...

Ahh, Garrison Keillor.

For some reason, I find Garrison's response wise. (For those of you who don't have a clue who he is, Garrison Keillor hosts A Prairie Home Companion, a quirky radio show in the old radio variety show tradition. It's very middle America and makes me crave Grandma's cooking every time I listen to it.)

Dear Mr. Keillor,

I attended a screening of the PHC film tonight (as part of the Seattle International Film Festival) and it was a wild success, met with laughter, tears and applause. What a poignant, bittersweet reflection on how everything must end, and all we can do is be there for each other. I went in expecting to just see a movie about a radio show, and came out taking serious stock in how I'm spending (or wasting) my blip of time on this earth. Mr. Altman and yourself have created a gem of a film that is destined to become a classic, and I hope you are proud of this remarkable diamond in your career. Great performances all around as well—not the least of which from yourself! You have a stoic, natural acting ability and wonderful presence on screen, and I hope there's an occasion to see it again in the future. Congratulations and thank you for doing this movie.

Billy D.

Seattle

Glad you enjoyed the flick, Billy D.

You would've enjoyed the New York premiere on Sunday night at the Directors Guild theater on West 57th Street. A red carpet along the sidewalk, lined by thirty photogs and some TV cameras and radio reporters, so you walked from the limo up the line, people yelling at you, "This way! This way! To your right! Down here!" and you try to smile in a stoical way, as your wife clings to you as a branch in the storm, and then you look back and there is Virginia Madsen who is doing a real star turn in a red dress that is as low-cut as New York law permits, and the photographers are going bananas. And Lindsay Lohan behind her, who is similarly decked out, and Meryl Streep, and Kevin Kline. Had I walked up the sidewalk from Sixth Avenue, nobody would've paid any attention. But you walk on the red carpet (which is guarded by a man with a shaved head) and that makes you a star. And afterward the carpet is rolled up and we all become pedestrians ag ain. T hat's the lesson of life. All I can say is, it's different to experience this at the age of 63 than to grow up with it, as Miss Lohan has. So postpone your stardom, I say.

Garrison Keillor